Trying for Spring

Spring comes in fits and starts. It's raining outside right now. I can hear the water running down the eavestroughs along the edges of the roof as I sit in here my warm, dry study. The calendar says there are 12 days to spring's arrival, but this is a spring rain already! It's washing away snow that has been piled all over the countryside. It rushes through the gutters and gurgles down the drainpipes and that sounds like spring to me.

The sap is running, too. It's been a little cool so we haven't tapped the trees yet, but the sap is running. I heard you can hear it running in the trees with a stethoscope. If I had one, I would try it. But whether I hear it or not, the sap is running.

These are the things nature does when spring is coming, and I feel the change in the air. We've turned a corner, and winter is waning. Birds are singing in the mornings. A little house finch was shopping for a new home outside my window the other day. He's thinking about taking up residence in a nice little mud nest from last year. I'm waiting to see what he decides.

It will snow again. I know it will. Spring comes in fits and starts. It will snow and get cold and act out all that... but it won't stay. At this point, the snows will come less often and melt sooner than they did before. The temperatures will fluctuate. Cold will be less severe and will be interspersed with slightly warmer days, and little by little, spring will edge its way into our lives.

I will be glad. In fact, a lot of people will be glad. Winter has its beauty, but we are ready to be done with it. We are looking forward to warmer days, the greening of the earth, birdsong, and warm breezes. Gardening friends are anxious to get their hands into the soft, fragrant soil to plant food for their families. We are all so ready!

I love spring! I plan to savor every moment and every false start that brings us closer to the real thing.

What do you look forward to at this time of year?

the next great adventure

Psalm 144:1, 2

"Praise be to the Lord for my rock, who trains my hands for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield in whom I take refuge, who subdues people under me."

Life turns and I wonder what's next. I'm studying new things and meeting new people, taking on new projects. The responsibilities I have owned for years are still with me, and I don't want to neglect them, but something new is coming.

I look at these verses in Psalm 144 and wonder what battles I have ahead, what changes will I help to make in the world? How can I be helpful? How will God use my strengths? How can I help change the world?

He is training my hands even now for something important. I sense it. It's exciting.

I am grown-up enough to know that taking on new things will not always be exciting, though, or fun or easy. There will be days of discouragement as well as days of exhilarating victory. But He is my shield in whom I take refuge. On those unhappy days, you will find me taking refuge in Him, the one who loves me unconditionally, even when I mess up in stupid, messy ways. I will be going to Him for comfort because He is the God of all comfort, and for instruction, so I can clean up the mess and do better next time.

A song says, "Sometimes I feel like I can do anything. Other times I feel like I have nothing good to bring." I so get that. I have had days lately when I felt next best thing to invincible. I feel my strength, and it feels powerful! It feels fantastic! I feel like I am part of something great, something amazing, and I matter, and I can do whatever life brings, whatever God assigns to me.

But other days I feel small. Tired. And I wonder what I was thinking.

That's ok. I can have small days. Over all, I believe God, the Lord my Rock, is training my hands for battles... against untruth, against lies and falsehood, against ideas that do not belong.

I am going to make a difference. Not because I am all that, really, but because God is all that, and he is training me, strengthening me, and assigning me to an important task. If I ever believe it is all about me, I will crash land flat on my face. But as long as i am a servant of the Most High God, maintaining the humility that comes with service and the confidence that comes with not being self-focused, as long as I depend on Him to strengthen me and don't claim that the strength is all mine, then I believe I will be part of something amazing.

I don't know how it is all going to look. It will be scary sometimes, no doubt, and satisfying, and I will be serving others and facing giants of some kind. Sometimes I will be exhausted, and fed up. It But I am saying, "Yes".

Yes!

Yes to the next great adventure. Let's do this.

roots of she: Video : How to be Alone

beautiful. truth is in here, and it flows with a gentle rhythm of words that sway and step smoothly most of the time, and with little staccato hops now and then to make it interesting. it is good. thank you, tanya.

go see the video and listen for yourself.

midwifery gathering

We sit in Janice's house, with the snow falling past the window.

Janice is the teacher. She tells stories. Birth stories.

Dressed in soft purple knits, with snow falling thick and gentle behind her, she tells of the small woman giving birth, how Janice went early and traveled through a different snowstorm to get there, about the dad and how he helped his partner, the remedies used, and the wonderful outcome, how she got her warrior woman on and gave birth with power. Great stories.

We talk about remedies and what they do, and we drink tea.

We learn about herbs and birth, and what is normal. We laugh and talk and we laud the strength of birthing women and the partners who love them well.

These gatherings feed my soul. I learn and am nourished. I love these sisters on the path. We are learning together and we will be midwives ourselves someday. Like Janice. Warrior women, serving warrior women.

another one bites the dust

We have three drivers, and three vehicles that run, for the most part: a minivan, a Jimmy, and a Buick .
With people going different directions at the same time, we need at least two. The third is a leftover that we keep around for backup.
~::~

So, husband took the car in to have it checked today. The brakes were making a noise. "By the way," I asked him, "Could you have them check that leak while you're at it?"

It's been going through coolant fast. We have to add more about every third time we drive it.

He just got the call from the car place with the "estimate."

"The Buick is toast."

Well, that's just dandy. The van is basically a dead van walking, hanging on with a bad tranny and wheel bearing til we can find a cheap replacement. And now the Buick is toast?

Dandy.

The Buick is the one into which we poured money, to keep it running for a while longer. It's the one with the best body and little rust.

It's the one that's toast.

If we had decided to fix its brakes today, it would have been a thousand just for those. Probably not a good investment for an older vehicle. But the leak in the coolant system in an even bigger issue. This leak goes two ways. There's an outside leak, but the bad news is the inner leak that mixes coolant with oil so neither can do its job.

They told us not to drive it all. Yeah, right. We drove it over there and it's one of two cars we have been depending on.

The van is not safe. We use it only when we seem to have no choice. The Jimmy runs and works well enough. It has four wheel drive, a great thing for the snow. And then there's the Buick, which we shall no longer discuss.

I wish cars were cheaper.

I love that Jimmy more than ever.

trip out west

So I went out west.

Out where the mountains are rocky and covered with snow...



...and provide many opportunities to marvel at their amazing beauty.
(I took this picture from the road somewhere between Denver and Cheyenne, when we had stopped for gas.)

Out West where there are buffaloes and bluffs, and brown landscapes surround.

... and the SUNSETS!! Oh, my goodness, the sunsets!

Yeah, this is what they see from their front door after supper! I don't know what it is about the west that makes such skyscapes, but they are always something special!

I went there to help out this girl:

My daughter, and her husband, who were having their first baby.

In fact, she is in early labor in this picture. Relaxing at home.
Using my laptop to catch up on Facebook.

I helped them put up their first Christmas Tree!




That was fun.

I cooked a few meals, and I loaded their dishwasher a few times.

And I got to help with this:

(She did most of the work, I just cheered her on to victory.)

They even let me hold her!
(I have a thing about not holding other people's new babies too much until the mama and daddy get to. I think it's important to respect that bonding time and let the new family get to know each other first. But they were willing to share, and after that first day or two, I was fine with getting to cuddle my new grandgirl!)


Yeah, I was very fine with it!


I think they are doing great. I'm glad I got to be there with them for a little bit.

Christmas: Round 2

Did you all have a good Christmas?

Tell me about it... I want to hear about your holidays. Just leave comments so I can read and enjoy them, ok? Whatever you want to share.

Thanks.

So tomorrow the fam is coming over. Since I was gone out west right up until Christmas eve at midnight, and since the younger families want to have their own celebrations in their own homes with their children, starting their own family traditions, and that is a good thing... since all this, we decided to have our family celebration on a different day. We are getting together New Year's Eve for our gifts and celebration.

Christmas Day felt a little different because of this. It was good, but different. Smaller. Daughter who lives at the other end of town came over and we opened gifts, had breakfast casserole, and relaxed around the house as we always have on Christmas Day. But there were only 5 of us.

It wasn't as noisy as usual. Not as full of... something. The commotion of happy people who love each other's company. I missed it. So did the younger ones. We had a good day, don't get me wrong. It was good to relax and the gifts were really nice this year, and it was good to be together. There was just a subtle difference made of having fewer people here and knowing they were somewhere else. I'm so glad daughter came for the day.

Life moves on.

So they each had good days in their own homes, and we are all getting together tomorrow night here, to pick up the celebrating where we left off, the few of us, on Christmas day. It will be good. There will be a crowd. Like 15 of us. And THEN it will feel like Christmas! There will be noise and laughter and gifts to open. There will be small people running around! There will be food and fun and someone will probably be grumpy at some point but it is all part of life and it's all good. I love it!

I hope you have a good Holiday tomorrow as well, and that your New Year starts off well.