autumn follows summer

Summer was crazy.  Seriously. 

We rarely travel.  But...

May: trip to Miami for Son's graduation with a degree

June: Gone for a week to convention with husband

July: family reunion on the Fourth

August:  
     1) Daughter went on her first mission trip, a big deal!  -- 
     2) trip to Wyoming to take a son to school for his first year -- 
                                         and when we got back home, 
     3) we went camping for a week and a half at the beach! Just what I needed!! Great time! Perfect birthday gift!

September, I was expecting to settle into a routine, but was feeling overwhelmed. The house needed a lot of catch up from being gone most of August.  Then the well pump went out and needed to be replaced.  Dishes and laundry piled up even more.

One of the Out West daughters got sick. We kept in close touch by phone and facebook, until she finally decided she needed to come home and see a doc who really knew her. It's been good. She is mending. Her plane back home leaves this weekend, and I'm a little anxious that she will be ok once she is back at her own place, looking after her own needs. It's a lot easier when you have nothing to do but sleep and eat what is made for you. 

The furnace went out the day she came home.  Of course it did.  Because life piles up sometimes. between the new well pump and the new furnace, we are going to have to reconfigure some finances. Not sure how that will all work, but such is life, right?!

Also, a dear cousin died very suddenly in an accident on the highway.  It was a real shock, and I was so deeply sad for a while. I will miss him, that's for sure! I am so glad for the rest of the cousins, who have all come together for each other is a wonderful way. 

So -- life piles up. I have been swamped in a pile of life! 

but in it all, I have been thankful for these gifts:

546.  time at the beach to be still after a lot of going

547.  a school for my son that seems a good fit for him

548.  seeing my offspring content in the lives they have chosen

549.  birthday cake made just for me by someone who loves me!

550.  family

551.  cousin care by phone

552.  being able to laugh at the pile that overwhelms. not always, but when i step back and look, how can I not?  

553.  truly amazing autumn colors, deeper and more vibrant than other years.  such incredible beauty!!


So, as the leaves blaze, and the air gets crisp, and daughter goes back to her own place, I will still expect, at some point, to find that routine that keeps being postponed.  We shall see. Life is for living, and if things come up, I will respond in whatever way seems best.  Maybe  having a routine is nothing more than a pipe dream for me. Life is rich and can't be put into tidy boxes.  Not this life, anyway!  Still, even if it's only a dream, I'll enjoy dreaming of the day when I have it all together.  :-)

perfect fall morning

What a gorgeous morning! The sun glows in the mist as the dew rises, and the trees, colors deepened by the day's early shadows, look more lush than thy ought to be for this time of year.

The thing to do on a morning like this is stand in the open doorway with a cup of hot coffee, breathe it all in, and just be thankful.

Perfect!

~~joys and thank yous~~

528. sun shining on dew-mist, making it glow
529. October's leaves dressed in autumn's colors
530. moments for standing half in, half out, relishing the warmth and the cool,
the beauty and the comfort.

What a great day!

The sky closed the day in a bright orangepink with royal blue around the edges. Fitting beauty for such a day as this.

It was a day filled with unusual joys. I savoured a slow, four hour breakfast out with a friend this morning, where we discussed ideas and ideologies and ate healthy, delicious food. It is a rare thing to enjoy an intellectual conversation with someone. It's rare for anyone to have four hours to spend on a meal and conversation. It was a real treat to mind, body and soul. Jen and I have radically different views on a lot of things, yet we can always discuss ideas without the conversation getting tense or heated. What a rare blessing! I'm glad to have friends like that. I disagree with her, but I respect her.

In the afternoon, another friend and I went and got pedicures. Tremendously fun! This is a friend with whom I can be totally honest and know she will hear me without judgement. She has a great sense of humor and we can laugh about things that would not be funny in other conversations. I think she is un-offendable. She knows sides of me noone else does -- things I myself did not even know were there before I spent time with her. She is another rare blessing in my life, a friend I trust with my truest, most real self. I know I grow as a person when I am hanging out with her.

Tonight, I went to a movie with my two kids. The ones who still live at home. We had a great time, and even got those fat juicy movie hot dogs for supper! We laughed together at the movie and enjoyed the time together. We have been extra busy the last couple weeks, each doing good, fun things, but not together. It was good to spend some fun time together tonight.

So the whole day has been one pleasure after another, with people who add significantly to my life. I am blessed.

And then a beautiful sunset.

Pretty nice!

I have a lot to be thankful for tonight.

This is perfect, for my birthday month!

(ps - I also got to dance with an adorable two year old today. Princess in pink, simply the sweetest thing! We danced in her living room, she with twirls and fluff, me just doing what I do. Such great fun!! I will add that delightful moment to my list of birthday celebrations so far this month!)

Wrapping Gifts With my Kids on the first Snowy Day of the Season.

Gift Wrapping on the First Snowy Day


First of December,
The snow begins falling...
Couple of inches and
Keeps coming down.
Quiet and bright.
Ground soft and white.

Up in my sweet room
There with my offspring,
Colorful wrapping,
Fun job ahead...
Presents galore
Spread on the floor.

We are relaxing,
Music is playing...
Happy old Christmas songs
from long ago.
Complete contentment
One perfect moment.

~klm~
12.2.10

It really was one of those perfect moments that will stay in my memory bank for life. One wonderful son, one precious daughter, and me, all together in the room we have just redecorated with my favorite colors. My work was done, so I curled up with pillows on the day bed while they sat on the floor and we talked.

Somehow all the Christmas wrapping paper in the house had migrated to this room, and the gifts they had chosen were spread on the floor waiting to be wrapped.

Pandora filled the air with its best old Christmas music, the kind you hear on the radio every season: "Silver Bells", "Baby, It's Cold Outside", Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, and Eartha Kitts, and the room was filled with Christmas happiness and the love of family.

Then it began to snow!

And outside the windows, we watched things change from late autumn's brown to a new, clean, pure white. The first snow! Right there, right at that moment, while we basked in each other's company, surrounded by colorful papers and ribbons, wrapping gifts to the sound of the season, right then the sky shared its own holiday treasures, and the air inside brightened as the air outside filled with tiny white snowflakes and the ground was covered with white, freshened for a new season.

Perfect moments like this can only be the gifts of a perfect heavenly Father who loves us more than we deserve. I am so grateful to be loved so lavishly.

My Thanksgiving list so far...

things I'm thankful for at this moment...

473. National Dress Up Day! (Also called Halloween) I love that there is a day when everyone pulls their imaginations out and just has fun with costumes! and I love that a daughter of mine renamed it this fun name, National Dress Up Day.

474. being waited on by Donald Duck

475. People in costume everywhere

476. apple butter, spread thick on good bread

477. turquoise

478. going to a fun concert

479. overnight road trip with daughter

480. meeting the artist and his manager

481. getting my new cd autographed

482. coming home

483. days when my hair turns out

484. misty air that replenishes moisture I've lost to the season's dryness. The mist looks dull and gray in the air, but it feels so good!

485. planning family holiday gatherings, and looking forward to their warmth

486. being together with family, with people I love who love me back.

487. the simple word, "hi", and the power it has to connect people. tiny but powerful!

evidence that I am loved

Love gifts...

443. orchard fresh apples, still dripping with fresh air and juice, bought from the farmer who grew them. You can almost taste the sunshine!

444. stumbling upon a demonstration of wild birds of prey! Full of fun and good information.

445. petting a wild bird, a soft pigeon, white with black spots. so pretty.

446. being fanned by the large, strong wings of a turkey vulture

447. looking into the round, golden eyes of an owl right up close. wondering what he's thinking of me as we look long at each other.

448. pumpkins appearing everywhere, whispering of pies and spices and fall

449. scrubbing the dirt off fresh-dug potatoes and finding their real skin red underneath

450. huge orange carrots, covered brown with the land that grew them, rich with flavor. Readying them for dinner with thanks.

451. Multi colored carrots, some yellow, some deep purple-red, some orange, making for a colorful glad stew.

452. Indian summer... another chance at warmth and sunshine, energy and gladness, this time with colored leaves all around, one more time before the cold sets in.

453. Music playing on websites, a gentle surprise for me to enjoy as I read and learn.

454. Mullein root for backaches, learning how to make the oil that helps

455. Learning the sweetness of truth-telling

good things

439. clam chowder

440. creativity, seeing it spread all over the city, watching it expressed by my good friends.

441. Hot soup on a cold, wet day

442. stellarium, Downloaded onto my computer, it shows me the sky from any time, anyplace. I can take my laptop outside at night and match it up to the sky over my house, and it will tell me what everything is! Every star, every planet! It's very smart.

new joys. constantly.

429. ripe, sweet pear, brought fresh this morning from the farmer's market, juicy goodness glistening in the sun

430. the luxury of a pedicure

431. bright pink nail polish

432. fresh paint, making a room new

433. subscriptions to online comics bringing me smiles every day

434. seeing a friendly dog downtown that reminded me of The Never Ending Story.

(She looks kind of like that big white friendly creature in the movie, doesn't she?)

435. Learning together with my midwifery sister-students. There is something special about being with these women. Hanging out with them nourishes my soul.

436. Adirondack chairs right outside my door, waiting for the break when I take a cup of tea, or a tall glass of water, and rest a few minutes

437. warm breezes after a run of fall-cool days. This feels better!

438. street musicians spreading music and good will all through the neighborhood

random beauty

422. small, red barn in bright yellow field surrounded by a deep green bank of trees, colors all sharpened by misty rain

423. Wedding colors: deep purple and apple green. very pretty, very fun!

424. these cupcakes! by Cupcake Zoo

425. gazebo at river's edge

426. finding new shops to browse while we wait

427. everyone being flexible when the weather turns wet. Flexibility is a great quality!

428. little girls in pretty, dressy dresses, all shined up for a special occasion

Random Pleasures

407. the cherry on top!

408. sun-bleached curls gleaming on little children

409. baby laugh, all bellyful and chuckly, and you can't help but laugh with!

410. creme brulee

411. long braids on sweet girls

412. eyes that shine all happy

413. rain splatters on the window

414. love's caresses, soft and gentle

415. sun breaking through

416. tiramisu

417. late day sky of purple and orange

418. being with friends

419. inside jokes, when all you have to do is look and you both break into knowing smiles

420. breakfast out

421. having a baby fall asleep on you, knowing that you are their safe place right then. Such trust and comfort. What an honor!

(more of my list of joys and thank yous. Because no matter what, there is always much to be thankful for.)

Birthday Happiness

(adding to my list of joys and thank yous)

392. So many friends wishing me a Happy Birthday on Facebook!!

393. Husband taking me out shopping for a birthday treat.

394. A surprise party given me by my wonderful family.

395. Birthday cheesecake! With chocolate drizzled over the top. And raspberries. Yes, indeed!

396. The fact that they put the right number of candles on that thing! Wow!

397. Blowing all the candles out in one breath! (So... I get my wish then, right?)

398. Ribbon streamers hanging from the ceiling!

399. Balloons! (I like balloons.)

400. Being surrounded by tiny girls wishing me "Hoppy Booday".

401. Birthday coupons, such as...

402. Free Birthday Coffee! And...

403. Free Birthday Ice Cream! And...

404. Free Birthday Dinner Entree!

405. Celebrating my birthday for days, weeks, as long as I want!

406. "Belated" birthday greetings, otherwise known as "extended" birthday greetings!

406. Friends who tolerate my endless celebration.
They even encourage this nonsense! I have such great friends!

August Pleasures

383. second round of baby birds (the first, of course, was in the spring), squeezed tight in their little nest waiting for dinner to be delivered, clamoring in high pitched baby voices when it comes.

384. my birthday... all month! Claiming every celebration as my own!

385. basil and mint growing friendly together


386. hearing fireworks, from somewhere, celebrating something. I don't even know what... but isn't it fun to know someone, somewhere is celebrating?

387. Sunday night, family watching a movie all together

388. Hot temperatures calming down. Opening up my house to feel breezes again.

389. cicadas singing loud hot songs on long hot days

390. planning a party! for a beloved son who has earned it.

391. being proud of my kids in a mom sort of way, not proud of myself, but thrilled at the good qualities I see growing in them. I like these kids of mine!

Rainy morning pleasures

371. slow, gentle rain

372. raindrops gathering in puddles on the glass





373. or gathering in little rivulets and running down together





374. thirsty flowers happy





375. mist rising behind the trees across the valley

376. stone path shining wet





377. driving through a puddle and splashing water high, like an upsidedown waterfall spraying all over... and then being glad the brakes still work afterward

378. going out to breakfast with husband on a wet, drippy, dark, comfy morning

379. Eggs done just the way I like them, with fried potatoes perfectly crispy around the edges, and just right in the middle. (and having them cooked for me.)

379. coffee with cream, because I can. Just this once. Probably.

380. thunder... and even a little lightning

381. getting wet and not caring, even if it makes me cold. It is so good to actually feel the rain once in a while

382. tiny crystal raindrops hanging, sparkling ornaments everywhere. The whole world is decorated now.

Can you see them? Fuzzy in the photo, but crystal clear in real life, just imagine!


There is so much beauty everywhere, and so often I don't see it...
I have to choose where to focus.

this perfect night

I am sitting on my deck right now, smelling grass that flies out of the mower as son cuts.

It's tall!

The mower was broken for a while
and the grass just kept on growing while it was out of commission.
(Wouldn't it be nice if grass - and other responsibilities - stopped growing
until we were ready to handle them?)

I love the smell of freshly cut grass. I watch the tall stalks of grass lie down and become like their brothers, all sheared the same...and looking good. Jack Red-Wing fusses at son, then swoops low over my head as if he holds me responsible for the disruption my son and his mower are causing.

The air is warm and perfect. 81 degrees and I can't imagine a more comfortable night. I wish I could move my bed out here so I could sleep in this 81 degree perfection, with the smell of grass, and the ideal temperature, and the sounds of life at night. Frogs and their friends.

I am thankful for....

318. perfect nights.

319. a strong son who willingly helps.

320. the smell of grass

321. sweet girl learning to mow the yard too

322. warmth, finally!

323. times for rest

324. "Life piles up." -- my wise friend, and she is right, and it's ok.

325. Sound of mower humming, growling at the tough places, then humming again.

326. How pretty the yard looks after it's mowed.

327. Romance. Not just the falling in love kind, but the finding beauty in every moment wherever you are kind. Which sometimes includes falling in love all over again.

328. watching a movie together that makes you laugh out loud.

329. mower coughing, spluttering on a thick, too-tall place, then skillful maneuvering getting past it without stalling and feeling like a conqueror!

330. Bugs. they say it's summertime! (or close, at least)

331. sun lowering, casting house shadow that climbs up the trees

332. this right now time after supper, when the day slows and winds down peaceful

333. family volleyball the other day! I dared to take part! No fear of ridicule this time.

334. Girl home from far away. for a few days. So good. So good.

335. family gatherings always fun and love-full, with laughing and talking and dealing and being. Together.

336. Birds singing bedtime songs.

337. Being able to be thankful. Sometimes it is hard, but right now, in this near perfect moment, it is so easy.

more thanks

306. Rain watering the earth, which must smile a silent thanks after a good soaking

307. New baby peach tree, planted with love as a Mother's day gift, right out the front door where I can see it every time I walk down my hall

308. Green! Rich and full, everywhere!

309. Offspring willing to help out

310. Coffee in the morning as a rare treat

311. Working out and feeling strong

312. Seeing Husband love what he's doing, and be so good at it

313. Beloved friends who join me in celebrating thankfulness and daily delights

314. fresh-made pizza to take home to the hungries after a long, long day

315. wildflowers with jobs to do...healing jobs

316. lilacs smelling like heaven, I bet

317. discovering that the little heart-shaped leaves of the wood sorrel are good to eat!
...they taste lemony.

Singing Anyway

Today is rainy and cold.... and windy. I wonder what the wind chill is today. It's not comfortable, it's nasty out, and frankly I would like some warmth and sunshine.

So I'm sitting here on my laptop and I hear a bird outside my window. Chirping! Happy-sounding little guy. How sweet!

And I think, "There he is out in the cold, wet rain... singing!" And here I am complaining about the darkness, the cold, the wind, the weather. Inside, where it's warm. With the lights on.

I'm not saying I have to pretend I have no preferences. I still would prefer nice weather... but I can sing! Can't we, even when things are not comfortable, choose to see what is good, choose to be thankful anyway?

Can't we sing?

Granted, there are times when life gets so heavy we have no song in us, but that's not most of the time. Most of the time we let little things get to us, and we lose our joy, or we ignore the joy that lies dormant in us.

Quit it, people, ok?

Let's sing!

Let's allow joy to prevail!

time for thanks ...

What a crazy full week, with full schedules and full heart, and head full of things to figure out, and feeling full-up-to-here! NOT the kind of week I prefer, that's for sure!! We finished the week with two concerts at different places, different styles... now that was good. Music is good for a weary soul, don't you think? And now... as I begin another week, I want to take a minute to be thankful. Gratitude pretty much cures what ails ya. God is good to me, always. Always. And if I am willing to see it, there are fun things, pretty things, silly things -- things that make me smile -- everywhere. OH, but sometimes I am so exhausted, it is too much work. That is the time it takes some effort, but choosing joy is wise and good and right. So here we go... some favorite things in no particular order...

~~~~~~

289. dark brown, shiny bald heads

290. people dressed in their very best. or in jeans.

291. multi-colored light show on the walls

292. a good concert

293. leather coats

294. going someplace fun with the family

295. dry roads, so much easier to drive

296. the hat matching the coat, sort of

297. symphony concerts

298. friends who help out when you need them to

299. love

300. having a secret snack stashed in the purse for indulging myself when I need it

301. bargains at the thrift store for both of the kids

302. being warm enough in the winter

303. gluten free brownie mix

304. coming to the end of a way too full week, finally!

305. feeling successful, or better...knowing you are successful even when you do not feel like it.

(when life is full I don't write much. do you? I just deal with stuff first. maybe afterwards then I can. but anyway, have a good week, everyone.)

delights of daily life, a winter version

269. the quiet glow of pale blue snowscape under brightest moon, in cloudless sky


270. full moon rising huge

271. air so cold it feels crispy

272. crunchy footprints happening right under my feet

273. NOT getting stuck on the driveway-hill!

274. fireplaces, woodstoves, and the glowing orange they carry, blazing warmth right into our bodies


275. working in the kitchen with my children: making supper of hot soup, watching them create their own delicious recipes, or baking banana nut bread all together

276. roasting marshmallows in the toaster, on top of graham crackers, with a sliver of chocolate buried inside

278. the blackness of the night sky alongside a very full moon

279. stars twinkling

280. mysteries yet to be understood

281. warm sweaters

282. red

283. digital cameras

284. blogging

285. my new laptop, which I love not only for its beautiful white glossy coat,

285. but also for the way it helps me keep in contact with friends

and write papers for class.

286. the botanical gardens, especially in winter,
when warmth and green life is nowhere to be found outside,
but lush and abundant inside, and the air is moist and feels good to breathe.

287. pandora.com, where I get to choose my music.

288. Knowing that, even though the furnace doesn't work right now, I am still ok, and we are not going to freeze...what a great thing to be thankful for. Not everyone has this assurance. Some people are very cold right now and have nowhere to go.

things I'm thankful for today

241. a well made cup of tea

242. curling up with a book

243. deer on our land

244. pockets (clothes without pockets make it hard to keep track of things)

245. victory

246. learning to love when it's hard

247. friends you can call when you need to

248. encouraging someone else only to find that I myself feel so much better afterwards... focusing on others helps me!

249. nuts in the shell, and getting them out

250. agave nectar and its many uses

251. looking at myself and feeling, "Oh, there you are!"

252. laughing with my children

253. apologies received

254. fresh snow over the old and dirty...so much prettier now

255. watching a new house going up, imagining how the new family will enjoy it

256. bluebirds in my yard - in January!

257. the crows coming back

258. snippets of birdsong on warmish winter days

259. snow angels sparkling in the night, telling stories of fun

260. trickling creeklets

261. walks

262. new shoes

Thanksgiving Day

10:00 am - Right now, Father, in the fullness of mid-morning, I thank you for this moment. The turkey is in the oven. Thank you for the anticipation of feast and looking forward to family members piling in the door, full of love and happiness. Right now, I take a moment to pause, praise, and give thanks. I take a moment to breathe. Inhale, exhale... and savor peace in the midst of busy preparations. Thank you, Lord. (And please be with my friend, please work out for her the details of her day after the flood at her house. Please bring her some peace, too.)

11:30 am - Pausing for another breath. and a snack. How is it that while fixing so much food, I can forget to eat!? Half the family is still in bed, sick. One 12 year old daughter and I are getting things done. Got the potatoes cooked, ready to reheat and mash when people come in the door. The house is getting some last minute straightening. Thank you, Father, for help for the flood at my friend's house. I hope she has a good holiday after all. Now, I have to start the bread. An hour to rise, another hour to bake... should come out about right. I love holidays like this. Thank you, God for holidays! Please be with those today who have not enough. May they see the bits of beauty in their own lives, in spite of everything, and may someone help to meet their needs today, please, Father. And Lord, if there is someone who you want me to help out, please show me who that is today. Thank you, Lord. I gotta go start that bread.

1:15 pm - I can't believe how nice the house looks! Even shorthanded, even with all the breaks we've taken, the rooms are all picked up and the food is getting ready. It is time to put the bread in the oven. The tablecloth is being ironed on the table; the house smells wonderful, and people are soon going to be here! I pause right now to slow my mind a minute, and savor it all. Breathe, self, breathe.

7:30 pm - The last people leave. What a great day! Everyone got here around 2 pm, and we ate about 3. Everyone helped. There was way more food than we needed. It was a feast, after all! Family together, laughing, talking, eating, cleaning up. Babies everywhere!

I missed having the bigger girls here, but they are at a friend's wedding this weekend. Oldest son is on a short vacation with his sweet wife. All's well. Everyone is having a good time wherever they are. But here - here at my house - we eat and everyone is full and happy. Tiny cousinlets play together, people make music, we laugh and talk, babies get hugged, toys get strewn. It's a happy time. By the time the last one leaves, the little one is way past time to sleep, but she will fall asleep very soon, and she has learned today a little more of what it means to feel loved and surrounded by family. It's been a good day.

Now... everyone has gone, and I have the whole house to myself. The dishes will wait for another day. I can just relax in the quietness.

Nice.

So much to be thankful for.