The Christmas List

I said there would be a list of my Joys and Thank Yous for Christmas. And here it is:

488. Christmas tree, shining in the living room. So pretty, so festive. It just glows.

489. Christmas lights twinkling in my house. I love the twinkly kind!

490. Christmas lights all over the countryside, sharing the Holiday Spirit with everyone!

491. Ornaments, reflecting the lights on the branches, telling their stories

492. Decorating the tree together with family, every ornament reminding us of something, some story past, and the sharing that happens right in that moment. Our family history shared and enjoyed.

493. The incredible fact that Christ, having lived forever in heaven, would be willing to come down, take on mortality, and live among us, in order to correct a wrong that we ourselves had done. Even though He knew it would be deeply painful and lead to His death. It's hard to understand such love.

494. Celebrating His birthday with the whole world.

495. Also celebrating family and friends and togetherness.

496. Finding gifts for people I love.

497. Getting good gifts. Did you think I would leave that out?? I am not that virtuous, people!

498. A new baby in the family.

499. The honor of attending the birth of that baby.

500. Sweet memories of being pregnant at Christmastime, kind of identifying with Mary and thinking how glad I was not to be on a donkey at nine months.

501. Nursing a baby by the light of the Christmas tree, in the middle of the night while all the house was silent. The lights from the tree cast a warm light on the baby's contented little face. All is Calm, All is Bright. It's a perfect moment of Peace and Love. This is one of my favorite Christmas memories of all.

Merry Christmas to all of you, dear friends.
Tonight I will be flying home for Christmas. As much as I am glad to have been here in Wyoming to attend daughter's first birth and to be some help, I am really excited to be heading home just in time for Christmas tomorrow.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." (John 14.27 NLT)

That's God's gift to you, if you take it. If you want more information, check out the Book, the Bible. It's all in there. Otherwise, just ask.

Happy Christmas Eve, friends, Merry Christmas too, and may your homes be filled with His peace and His love. May you each grow to know Him more and more as a good friend, One who loves us beyond anything we can understand.

all piled up

Friends,

I think I write best when I am not under too much stress - some, mind you, just not too much.

Not enough stress and nothing happens; too much and all my energy is spent in dealing with it.

"Life piles up" sometimes, my good friend tells me.

Yes it does. And it is, and I am full with the dealing and the loving and the doing.

The celebrating and the aching.

We have had: out of town guests, a sudden wedding, a baby party here, a dear friend of my daughter with very serious surgery. And more. All in the last week.

I feel like the hub of a very dizzy wheel. I am the center of the gyroscope. By God's grace I am still upright, though around me life is spinning. I am fine. I am loving and loving and loving. And that is all I can think of right now.

So, I am just letting you all know that I am fine, and I will write as soon as I can, but right now I am focused on life and its needs. The needs of those I love.

Right now, I am making the stories. Later I will tell them.

Soon, I think. When the dust settles a bit.

Utterly loved

“The Lord your God is in your midst; a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy. He will be quiet in his love. He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.”
(Zephaniah 3:17 NASB)

I love Zeph 3:17. When I read this, I get a mental picture that thrills and lifts me up, of my God, mighty and powerful, loving me so much that He sings over me! It reminds me of a mother tenderly rocking her precious child as she sings lullabies full of tender love, and then again it gives me a picture of God in joyous, celebratory love that bursts out in song
for the sheer joy of loving!

Think about this with me a minute. God, the mighty warrior... I picture Him here as just having come from battle, and He is victorious! Yes! He has won! The shouts of battle have faded into the background, but still He wears the aura of the thrill of victory! That thrill surrounds Him, is almost palpable, and being in His presence, I feel that thrill, that excitement! Our God is the mighty, victorious one! Always! He never loses. Ever!
He is strong.

And he loves me!

He is "mighty to save"...me! Oh. My. Goodness! Why in the world, why in the WORLD, would such a great God care to look out for me? It is awesome to think that He is strong enough to handle anything, and that I can be safely protected when I am with Him, but why? Why does He even want to take care of me that way?

Because He loves me! Does anyone else get stuck on this like I do? Here is this great, Awesome God, and Yeah, ok, He loves the world, and that is wonderful, and I get that, and I benefit from that, and I'm thankful, but wait... he loves ME! He loves ME? Why? What did I do to deserve this??

Nothing. Really.

That is what is so boggling about this. He loves me, not because of anything I did, have ever done, or will ever do. He loves me because I am me and He loves me because of who He is.

He takes "great delight" in me. Oh, wow. He "exults over me with joy". Oh, wow, I can hardly grasp this!

You know how you exult with joy over an adorable toddler, because they are just so crazy cute you can hardly stand it? You know how you take great delight in a little child, because you just love them so intensely? We in delight in every accomplishment, or even in their just sitting there. We gaze adoringly while they sleep, even, because our hearts just overflow with love. We love them. Not for what they do (they are too little to do anything at first), we love them for who they are. We laugh, overflowing with joy as we watch them. They make us so happy! They truly delight us!

It boggles my mind to think that I make God happy like that. I make God smile
just by being me.

"He will be quiet in his love. He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” He loves me sometimes in quiet tenderness; he loves me sometimes with shouts of joy. He loves me! He gets that I have different needs on different days, and He loves me right where I am in every instance.

Another version says, "He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." (NIV)

And this is where I get the picture of a mother rocking her child to give comfort, as she sings her love over him. She strokes the soft skin, and her love just pours over that child.

But also... I get the picture of that "joyous, celebratory love that bursts out in song for the sheer joy of loving!" How fun is that?! To be loved that way satisfies something deep in me that I can't even put into words right now.

It is in God's nature to love. I don't have to earn it. He made me, and He did that on purpose. He wanted me, before I was even born. I am loved. His way is to love wholeheartedly, with abandon, and with joy and delight. With fun, and with tenderness, and with good things. His love means I am important. Oh, wow, I am important to God!!

Oh, wow!

And... His love MAKES me important! If God is for me, after all, who can be against me?

To think that my Father loves me like this chases away any kind of self doubt. I am precious in His eyes. And who am I to argue with God? I am precious to God. I am of value.
God says so. It's settled.

No wonder I love Him so. How can I not? He loves me unconditionally, constantly, joyfully! Wow. How cool is that?!




The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
(Jeremiah 31.3)

Weary, but usable

I feel tired. Weary.
I was starting do feel pretty discouraged in this state,
feeling like I couldn't accomplish anything, and like everything was huge and tragic,
until I remembered that those times that I am useful,
it is not because I have strength, or energy, or beauty, or brains.
I am useful to God, free to do great things, free to help change the world,
when I am just willing to be useful.
Wow.

If I am willing, He will do great things through me, regardless of how I feel.

Amazing!

And when the difficult times come along,
I consider that if He is allowing these days, then He must be preparing me for something great. Something with a good that is bigger than this bad day is bad.
Because that is how God is.

And I am encouraged.
Still tired, and still weary, and still feeling too small for the day ahead. But confident that how I feel does not limit God and what he can do through me, if I choose to be usable.




2 Corinthians 12:10 - Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Wisdom

Life gets heavy sometimes. And when it does I tend to curl up and ponder. I do well when I ponder the problem while looking to God's Word for answers, not so well when I ponder the problem and stay right there. Just looking at it first one way and then another, wrestling with it and getting tied up with it.


In those times I end up all curled up around the problem, and focused on it, believing I want a solution, but not looking to the Solution. I forget the basics.


So today, I said out loud (and by "out loud" I mean I posted it on Facebook, right where the whole world could see it, or at least certain friends of all walks who I have allowed access to this window into my life) I said I needed wisdom from God. Not just "some" wisdom, but a "truckload" of wisdom! In fact, a "huge truckload!" I said.


Yes, I put that right out there on Facebook.


And I got a response. From someone who knows me well. He reminded me that if I needed wisdom, I could ask for it, and that no matter how much I ask for, God will give that and more! It's right there in James 1:5.


Oh, yeah! The basics! I have heard that verse so many times, but I was not thinking about it today as I wrestled with how to respond to a challenging situation... I only knew how desperately I needed the wisdom that only God can provide.


Sometimes I love that Facebook!


The next thought to cross my mind was that sometimes, even though I do know that God will provide wisdom, it seems so long in coming. And you know what? Right in the same passage, the very verse above, it says, "Let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and whole, lacking nothing."

Oh, yeah! Patience! It doesn't have to be obvious right now to be real!

So then. If I have asked, then I can be sure that the solution will be evident WHEN IT IS NEEDED! At the right time. My job is to ask God for wisdom and then to be patient. His job -- His promise -- is to give me the wisdom I need. Generously. At the right time.


Ok, I can rest now.


And untie myself from the knot I was getting into.


Do you hear me breathing a sigh?


Yeah. For real.

Good Night

On days when it feels like work to just be... on those days, I love the moment at the very end when I let go my day, and enter my room, lavender walls waiting, and the little lamp next to the bed glowing softly. I change into my most comfortable clothes for sleeping, slip under the softest of blankets, and curl my Self around Words written to me by God Himself, the Creator of All. Whatever has worn me thin melts away as I absorb Truth...Truth of His love for me, His power over all things, His forgiveness.

And then I sleep.

Good night, dear friends... sleep well tonight, and know that you are loved.

Selling some land

We are selling 12 acres today. I am losing part of my home, but I feel like part of my soul is being sold instead.

It's the right thing to do. I know it makes sense. We have owned this land for 30 years, lived on it for over 18. The kids have walked all over it, discovering nature and freedom. They've dug for treasure and found it in old broken vases and salt shakers from generations ago. They've caught frogs and snakes and fish and shared with me those wondrous delights. They've played in the creek in the hot summers, and skated on it in the coldest of winter. They've rescued baby mice and injured birds. And we have all watched deer, fox and rabbits run across our yard.

But the youngest is 13, and there are not so many nature walks being taken anymore. Those who dug for treasure have moved on to new adventures, and frankly, we don't NEED those 12 acres anymore. But I love them.

Emotions are oblivious to the facts sometimes. So while I can see that selling the land makes sense, still I wish to hang on to it.

I have struggled with the fact that I feel so deeply sad when that emotion seems to contradict common sense. I have been told that I should be happy.

But I have come to believe that, while I don't have to live by my emotions, I can live with them. I can let the sadness be where it is, knowing that it will pass. It will. I don't have to fix it, or try too hard to feel differently. I will do what I have to do, regardless how I feel. I will go to the meeting with Husband and sign those papers. But I don't have to pretend it's easy, or that I am not sad.

And if there are people who have a hard time with the way I feel, then I am sorry, but I am going to have to work through my feelings myself, and I can't also be working through theirs. I will try to be considerate and kind, but I can not carry the responsibility of making everyone feel better.

God has said that He will bring good out of every situation for those who love Him. (Romans 8:28) And Psalm 84:11 says, "No good thing will He withhold from them who walk uprightly." So I know that this is all going to turn out alright. My part is to "walk uprightly" -- in other words, to just keep on living with the goal of pleasing God. God's part is to work out everything else.

He will. He always does. I do know it will be ok... I will probably feel happier about this as it unfolds. But I am not there yet, and that's ok too.

We will still have three acres with the house. We'll still live in our house on the hill for awhile yet. We'll watch wildlife from the windows, and the kids will still catch creatures for as long as they want to. The people who will be our new neighbors seem very nice and have said that we may sled on the hill that will be theirs, and I'll bet the kids will still be able to go down to the creek on hot days if they want to. I will miss having it as our own. I really will. But I think it's going to be ok.

Thankful Thursday

It's Thursday, and how can I not be thankful...

for so many things:

133. the gentle, misty rain that's filling the air today, and making all the colors even more alive.
134. the fun of running errands all day, a break in the routine
135. this wonderful, life affirming time of year, when all nature sings His praise
136. creeks that ripple, chuckling for the sheer joy of being!
137. knowing God - not completely, of course - but as a friend, getting to know Him better day by day... Wow, friends with God! Who deserves such an honor? Not me, that's for sure, and yet here we are, God and I, friends. Wow.
138. being loved by the Creator of the universe! It floors me!

Maybe I should make a point of thankfulness on Thursdays,

because it'd be easy to remember,
and I want to take time to be thankful, to express gratitude.

Sunny Weekend, Part 1

Today is cool, grey, and wet. Yesterday was, too.

But last week! Oh! Last week, we had four warm, golden, sunny days in a row!! We loved it! We needed it! Everyone felt good, and we all got outdoors and savored the good weather. Our Town had some cool community events happening that weekend, and the timing was perfect to go and enjoy the activities outdoors.

Friday night I drummed downtown with a group, and people gathered on the sidewalks to listen and dance. I love when that happens, when we see people's joy because of our drums. I drummed for three hours, and my hands were slightly swollen and bruised when we were done. I loved it! Drumming is healing. It enriches me. I am thankful to God for giving me the joy of drumming with friends. And I am deeply thankful to those friends for teaching me to drum, and for letting me drum with them at events like this. Drumming deepens who I am; it gives me something I can't put into words. I only know I am somehow a better, stronger, happier person when I have drumming in my life. It is a gift from God to me, and I love it!

I didn't get pics of the drumming, because of course, I was busy. But Amy did, and you can go see them at her site here.

~~~

That was Friday, and Saturday dawned just as sunny and beautiful. In the morning, Daughter and I went to the park with the walking trails and we walked. I hadn't wanted to. I was ready to just sit. But I am so glad we went! We have been at the point in the season where the leaves are not budding and only the grass is green.

Most thing are still bare and brown.
(I find it hard to see the beauty in this.)

Those four days of warmth made a huge difference, though, and now things are starting to wake up.

I love that veil of green that comes when the bushes begin to leaf out, before any of the trees are showing green. It almost looks from a distance like a greenish mist in the woods.


I am so thankful for the five (more or less) senses that we are given. Seriously, they are they means through which I enjoy life, see the beauty, feel the breezes, experience all the other gifts that surround me. Our senses are a magnificent gift from the One who designed us! Thank you, God!! And those senses were soaking up a lot of beauty at the park!

We saw an intriguing log...

We wondered how the tree could have grown to have such a twist in it the length of the whole trunk.

I found a plant that I don't know yet, just budding along the water's edge. Anyone know what this is? (edit: I just learned that this is a marsh marigold. It's kind of nice to have a son who's a biologist.)

We saw skunk cabbage,


little yellow flowers,

strangely shaped trees,


and the sparkling sun reflecting on the water.



I heard invisible birds (I couldn't see them) singing an endless variety of songs in the tops of stark, leafless trees...


...Water laughing it way over rocks in the stream, and the sharp screech of a grass whistle from my sweet daughter.



I smelled the woods, the stream, and the fields. Each has its own scent, something I don't usually notice.

We felt the warm sun, the gentle breeze, the rough bark, the scratchy branches, and the scrootchy mud. If you've stepped in wet mud that sucked at your feet, you know what scrootchy means.



We found a tiny pink blossom, the delicacy of which made me want to just stop and study it. So beautiful!

(edit: Same biologist son tells me this is called a "spring beauty"... appropriately named.)

We walked through wet mud, green grass, and dry sand, over tree roots and boardwalks, past raspberry bushes, strawberry plants, blueberry bushes, apple trees, dead leaves, and horse poop.




Daughter wanted to catch a little garter snake, and I let her go chasing because I was confident she would not catch it.

She surprised me!!

And there followed a difficult conversation about why we could not take it home. Ouch.

But all in all, what a great morning! She was pretty disappointed about not bringing home the snake, and after lunch I decided to take her downtown for another fun event that was happening.

I'll post about that separately. Keep reading.

:-)


(PS - Thanks to my son who knows about plants and their names. He's a great resource! He's also a great person. I like him quite a bit! (-;)

Eggs

On Monday, I finally colored eggs for Easter. The years when I color eggs are the best! I was late this year. But I'm glad I did it. I love coloring Easter eggs.

I love the colors. I love mixing the all the food coloring into hot water and watching the cups all light up with the intensity of the hues.


There is such anticipation, such suspense in those cups. I love seeing all those vibrant colors lined up on the counter, waiting. I love dipping plain white eggs into my old teacups, full of brightness, and waiting to see how those eggs transform.

And what a transformation!! Those which went in white come out sky blue, deep purple, blood red, soft pink. Some are green, some sunshine yellow. There are brights and pastels, solids and patterns. So many colors, so many variations! They look so good, I always wonder why we only color eggs once a year... why not enjoy them the rest of the year, too?



We love the process. We dip, or we color with a crayon and then dip, or we dip part of the egg in one color and another part in a different color. We make Humpty Dumpties, and night sky scenes, and simple landscapes. We stripe and we polka-dot. There are never enough eggs to satiate everyone's creativity, but always more than enough to satisfy our hunger, for what seems like forever. Sometimes I have to finish off the last few eggs with a multi-colored egg salad, with speckles of red, blue and green where the color seeped through the shells. At that point, it's less than appetizing.

But it's worth it for the fun.

I also love the symbolism: we dip a plain egg and it comes out different, beautiful, changed. Like resurrection. We too, will be changed one day when we are resurrected. We will have new bodies, and they will be wonderful. Coloring the eggs makes a nice analogy.

So - did you color eggs this year? How do you celebrate Easter? Do you have a big Easter dinner? We forgo that because the day is full enough already, and I prefer to simplify it. When it works out, I serve hard boiled eggs (colored, of course) and hot-cross buns for breakfast. That's all. How about you?



Gratitude list additions:

98. Coloring eggs for the sheer fun of it
99. Pretty food
100. The truth of the resurrection of Christ
101. Looking forward to our own resurrection
102. and the reunion we will have with people we love who have gone on before
103. Seeing Christ himself then!! Face to Face!!That will be something amazing!
104. Sensing His immense love for us as we stand before Him

Ann's Easter Garden

I came across this wonderful idea (on Ann Voskamp's site), which I find beautiful and maybe even doable... maybe even at my house... I had to share it with you. Click here:

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2009/03/make-easter-garden-visual-parable.html

I have friends of all beliefs. This idea reflect my own beliefs very well. If you have other ideas, other beliefs, you might adapt it. But do check it out ... so sweetly done, so pretty, so full of life... and that is the Easter story - it's about life!

If I do this (and I still doubt my green ability here), I would review the facts of the story while making this with the children: the prayer in the other garden, the death (age-appropriately, of course), the stone rolled in front to keep Him in... which didn't work, of course, and then the greatest part, the Resurrection! which proved He was who He claimed, and what it all means to us. It means so much! It means our life, now and forever! It is such a great story, and we who believe must share it with the children... this seems such a good way to do that. Besides, it will serve as a focal point and reminder all through the season.

And if I could keep the plants alive, it would be a spot of beauty in the house. Who can't use some beauty in the house?

But, you know... big "if" right there.

What do you think... should I try it? Or should I have someone else try it for me??

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

St. Patrick's Day is almost here!

Over the years, I have had mixed feelings about this date...

The thing I don't appreciate about March 17th is that I expect things to be green on that day, and yet most years the grass is still brown and lifeless. Wake up, grass! Leaves?? Anything??

Sigh...

By mid-March, I really long for the greening of life and landscape. But it doesn't usually happen that early. I have to be patient a while longer.

But, what I DO enjoy about March 17th is -- well, two things. First, it is my brother's birthday!! (Happy Birthday, Brother!!) He is a very cool guy and I love him a lot. All through our growing up we had lots of fun celebrating his birthday with green cakes. He didn't always wish for green, but he got it anyway.

The other great thing about March 17th is Saint Patrick's Day of course. I'm Irish, and Husband has Irish blood too. (Though he mostly talks about his Scottish heritage, his maternal grandma would tell you just how Irish she was). So our family really enjoys this day. We have fun wearing the colors.

In the last week or two we have been learning some interesting facts about St. Patrick. He has a fascinating story. I didn't do all this research myself; one better at it than I am did all the work. The information came from Patrick's own writings as well as from the Encyclopedia Britannica.

First, did you realized that Patrick was not Irish? Seriously!! Not even Irish!! And not only that, but he was not Catholic, though the Roman Church gave him the "Saint" title. And... he was not born on March 17th. Yeah -- all my ideas about him just got blown away! Here's the story:

Patrick was born in England to a father who was a pastor of the English church (not Catholic). As Patrick grew into young manhood, he rejected his father's faith. One day when he was about 16, he and some friends were playing on the beach when the Druids of Ireland came by ship and, seeing the young men there, kidnapped them. Now the Druids, you may know, were a scary bunch who were known to practice human sacrifice among other unpleasant things. I'm guessing Patrick and his friends were scared. They ran away from the incoming ship, only to run smack into some Druids coming from the other direction.

They were taken back to Ireland where thankfully they were not used as human sacrifices, but were sold into slavery. Patrick became a slave to a Druid priest, for whom he lived and worked for 6 years. He hated it, but felt that he deserved this miserable life after rebelling against his father and mother, his pastor, and God. He was humbled. Later he wrote that during this time he came back to God, and chose to accept the work of Christ on the cross as full payment for his sin, and give himself fully to Christ.

Six years after becoming a slave, he managed to escape, running on foot through 200 miles of forest to the shore, where he found passage on a ship and made his way back to his home in England. His parents were overjoyed to have him back and wished he would never leave again. He didn't plan to at first, but as much as he hated his time of servitude in Ireland, he kept thinking about he people there and the fact that they did not know the one true God, the God of love and justice and mercy. He would dream about them at night, and he felt these dreams were messages from God. The people of Ireland needed the Truth. So Patrick went back.

Patrick then went all throughout Ireland teaching and preaching, telling the people about Christ who came to love the world, who came to die in order to pay the penalty for all our sins in order to make a way for us to go to heaven. He gave the people hope. And they turned to Christianity. It is said that Patrick converted 120,000 Irish people in his lifetime! That is a phenomenal number! I can not really fathom that. And... get this... the population of Ireland at the time was about 300,000!! You can do the math... this one man converted almost half of the population of an entire country. He gave them the truth and they chose to follow it. Wow!

Patrick wrote that his life verse was Phillipians 1:12 - "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

St. Patrick wrote a prayer when he was to appear before the Druid priest which was made into a hymn, and today is called St. Patrick's Breastplate". You can read the rich, powerful words here.

Some 700 years later, long after Patrick had died, the king of England got unhappy with the fact that Ireland was full of evangelical churches. He wanted Ireland to be Catholic. So he sent a few thousand soldiers under the banner of the Pope to invade Ireland and force them to convert. (I still don't understand the idea of "church soldiers", making war with those who disagreed, but things were different then. Not in a good way.)

The King must've thought it would be an easy job, or I bet he'd have sent more troops. But instead of a few months, it took them several years to subdue the people of Ireland and get them to join the Catholic church. Many protested the invasion and clung to their beliefs... thus the "Protestants". A large number of these protesters retreated into the northern part of the country, where even to this day, you will find those who call themselves Protestants. So today we have Ireland (the southern part), which is commonly thought of as Catholic, and North Ireland, the protestant part. Now, the actual beliefs of the people have changed over time and is not exactly what Patrick taught. The people are at war with each other at this point, and it seems their focus is not so much on the ideologies. But back in that day, he northern protestants chose to separate from the rest of Ireland and keep their faith. They still wanted to celebrate St. Patrick's Day... but they didn't want to wear green like the southern, Catholic Irishmen did... so they wore orange instead.

And even today the Irish Catholics wear Green on St. Patrick's day, whereas the Irish Protestants wear orange.

Oh... And Patrick, who was canonized by the Catholic church even though he never belonged to it, died on March 17th, about 466 AD.

As I searched for images of this man, I found there to be many images, all different. I guess we really don't know what he looked like. Interestingly, they all appeared to me to make him look like a person of position in the Roman Church. Go figure.

St. Patrick may not have cleared out the snakes, but he did some powerful evangelizing!

The words on this scroll are from Patrick's prayer.


St. Patrick was a humble yet amazing man who changed a country's history
and gave the people hope.
His day is certainly worth celebrating!
Have a Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Getting Antsy

It is getting hard to be patient with winter. I have been trying very hard to keep a positive outlook, but the reality is we don't feel good and we need spring.

My friend Rae expressed my own feelings better than I could. "Don't get me wrong", she says, "winter is beautiful in its own way, but my heart longs for spring." Oh, mine, too, Rae, mine too! "New beginnings, new adventures. Sunshine. Going on walks. Bike-rides. Flowers. Being outside. Spring uncovers beautiful things that have been forgotten in dreary weather and buried underneath snow. It's time for new life. Resurrected life."

Rae knows.

So, since it is hard to feel glad right now, since depression lurks around the corner on every cloudy day, and since friends and family have been fighting illnesses for months (we can't seem to go a week and a half all being healthy at the same time) and we have had enough, thank you very much... since it is easy to feel discouraged... then it is time to forcefully give thanks!

Stopping to remember the gifts we've been given, no matter how much work it takes, sure helps my perspective. So, here we go, adding to my list of joys and thank yous, the list of gifts that God has given me for no good reason other than that He can, and He loves me, and He wants to (I sure don't deserve this kind of love) ...

62. The sound of raindrops dancing gently on the roof outside my window as I fall asleep

63. The way hail bounces when it hits the ground

64. The sound of a baby's laugh - gurgling, cooing, baby-belly-laughs that make you join in and laugh yourself.

65. The sound of water rushing around the rocks in a little brook

66. Concerts where I can enjoy music and dance from many cultures

67. Errand running day

68. Going out to lunch by myself

69. Trying out a new restaurant

70. The sure promise of spring, no matter how long and cold winter has been, oh, yes!


Oh, yeah, it'll come. And like Rae, I just ask it to please... "come soon, okay?"

Spring, are you listening?

Full Moon

The moon rose shining huge and golden in front of me as I was on my way home tonight. She was rising from - but still resting on - a soft bed of low clouds along the horizon. I was awestruck. The moon has so many moods, but is always elegant. Tonight her beauty was rich and full.

Dancing With the Moon

The moon and I danced together tonight
In honor of the One who created us both.
She danced up high in a silver-blue sky
While I danced here below.
The grass was soft beneath my feet
And cool, and wet with dew,
While she smiled down with her face full bright
From her dance hall draped in blue.
We danced together, the moon and I
And our hearts overspilled with delight -
As she smiled down, and I smiled up at her
On this wonderful, worshipful night.

(c) ~klm~ 7/20/2005

I am thrilled by:
60. The beauty of the full moon as it rises clear and bright
61. The way all nature shows the sweetness of God

(pic: The moon as taken from our back yard tonight by my daughter who is more clever with my camera than I am)

January

Here's a poem for you... ( I wrote it a week or two ago)

January Cold

January's moody - first the blizzards and the snow,
Then the bitterest, coldest days you ever saw.
Then when you are tired and you think you're nearly frozen,
Comes to tempt you, "January Thaw".

It's cruel.

You're fully insulated to protect you from the cold
But your skin, then, never sees the light of day.
Vita D's in short supply
And you feel like a good cry
Or a warm and sunny place to get away.

It's true.

Winter wears on people's nerves, which start to fray
From insufficient bits of light of day.
We have sensory deprivation
'Cause of all that insulation
That we wear to keep the sting of cold at bay.

It's depressing.

I miss the sensuality of warmth,
When breezes brush your skin and it feels good.
Whereas now you hardly feel the air at all -
In fact we'd all avoid it if we could.

And we do.

But we try to bear it bravely with a smile
When all we really want to do is sleep.
Because the senses are in hibernation
When the deep midwinter is so deep.

But it'll pass.

~ (C) klm ~
1/15/09

Winter is getting to me. I am trying to have a good attitude, but it takes more effort all the time. To help keep a right perspective, I keep adding to my list of things I am thankful for. Thankfulness rocks! It helps with slumps. But still...

Sigh...

I am going to get through this winter, even though we have to sell land and maybe even move. I am going to get through it with Joy. The joy may be buried under some other stuff, but it will be there somewhere. (-:

I have a good friend who reminded me once that even if we were to lose everything we have and everyone we loved, we would still have God. And really... what else matters? We would still have God and all that He is... His incredible love for us, His character, His faithfulness, His unchangeableness.... We would still have God!

Wow, How cool is that? How COOL is that!!

So -- Though the earth be covered in a blanket of white (which is incredibly beautiful but just plain cold) and though my brain cells falter, and I can't spell or think of the right word, though my days drag with me finding it hard to do anything because I have no energy ........

.............Yet I will praise Him.


I will praise Him!



How about you? Do you have anything to add?

Looking both ways

At the beginning of a new year, people like to take a look back over the past year, ponder it, savor it maybe, and then turn and check out the year to come. So I've tried that, and what I found is that the year past has brought lots of unforeseen adventures, along with some great gifts. None of it could I have seen coming. Not the car accident or the economic slump or the sudden job changes... And not the rich blessings that come with each of those challenges, either.

And if I try to look at the upcoming year, all I see is a fog. Everything coming up is just as unforeseeable as last year's things were. Recent economic changes will lead to more changes in the coming year. There are more questions than answers, and thinking too much about it just leads to worry. So I don't think I want to focus on all that unknown. Instead of looking at the past and at the future, I think I want rather to look at some things I do know.

I do know that God rules. Nothing is out of His control. Nothing. He started this whole story of earth and life, He is maintaining and sustaining it, and He will bring it all to the right ending at the right time. This I know. And...

I do know that He loves me. A lot! This is constantly shown to me by the myriad of little love gifts that he gives me daily. His tender care for me in things large and small show me his love. And His word also tells me that God is love. He loves me!

So if God is in charge and all powerful, fully capable of taking care of things..... and if God sees me as a precious child of His, wrapped in His love..... then I am going to be ok. One way or another, His love and His power will keep me safe. He cares for me and He's big enough to make a difference. And when things happen that are not good, not pleasant, but instead are hard and not fun at all... well, then He goes with us through those times, and He turns it all to good for those who love Him and are called to His purpose.

"No good thing will He withhold from them who walk uprightly". So my job is to walk uprightly, and His job is to take care of everything else.

And you know what? I can do that! I can try to walk uprightly... watching my walk, my friendship with God, trying to do things His way, tuning into His Word and loving Him. I will get it wrong sometimes, but I can tend my heart. And when I do get it wrong I can make things right again as soon as possible. It's about my relationship with God. It's about keeping my heart turned toward God.

And all the worries of the upcoming year, the fears and all of it, just sort of fade when I get that perspective right. When I am focused on God and who He is, everything else falls into place. When I focus on pleasing Him, it all smooths out. Yeah... and I can do that!

As we ring in the New Year, I wish you all a very good year ahead! Happy New year, everyone!



(pic: bell at the end of our porch. for ringing in the new year, naturally)