Busy days, Full Week

Sometimes the day gets turned up on its head.
You kind of wish you could have stayed in bed.
But you know you've got to do it,
And somehow you do get through it
Though by the end of day you feel half dead.
(klm)

This week has been very busy, and I haven't gotten to see my kids as much as I would have liked. They were busy. I was busy. We weren't home much. And the days got turned upside down one after another. Every day turned out to be good - as it was supposed to be... but I am ready for a day of normal.

Today is not, however, going to be that day! I will be out of town half the day - the middle half. It will be a good day. It is a good class and I want to be there. It will be good for me. But I do miss my kids and I hope I get to slow down and hang out with them later today. Life is good. We all need down time. But however this day turns out, I expect to live it fully and enjoy the moments. I just really want some of those moments to be with the kids I didn't get to see much this week. We'll see! :-)

better than roses

At church we were given roses on Mother's Day. It's a really nice tradition. I love that they value the work that mothers do. Most of the world does not really validate moms in their work. Maybe that's because most of the world is too busy... being moms?

Being a mom is invisible work. It is hard, rich work, and there is nothing else that can possibly give the satisfaction, nor the exhaustion and feeling of not being important.
Noone sees it. Noone seems to acknowledge it.

It can be hard, when you are exhausted (and the mothers of small children are exhausted), when noone gives you much positive feedback, to feel like you are making a difference in the world.

We have to - we have no other choice but to - go back to the reality of God's own word and good common sense to realize that without moms, the world would cease to be. We are doing God's work alongside Him. How awesome is that?! Our families depend on us for their very survival when they are small, before they grow into the skills they need to ensure their own survival.

(The skills we teach them.)

We love and nurture them in our hearts and in our arms, only to discover that they way we nurture our children defines how they relate to the rest of the world for the rest of their lives.
The way we care for our children affects their lives, and through that, the lives of the people they touch for years... our influence lasts long after we are gone.

It is no small truth that the hand that rocks the cradle really does rule the world. As moms, we rule!

But a huge part of our task is humility, being willing to set the needs of others before our own when needed. Not mothering for our own satisfaction, but out of love - unconditional love - for the children God has put in our arms.

I felt a little silly carrying around a rose yesterday. It was a nice thought. But the faces of the people I love the most are the best gift ever. When they smile, when they grow up into awesome people - people who love God above all else - people I love having as friends, that is the greatest joy ever!

Prov. 31 says, "they will rise up and call her blessed". It is a long term prospect, this rising up business. It takes years. But if we are faithful in the long haul - not perfect, not getting it all right, but over all faithful, trying to honor Him in our lives - then there will come a day when those little cherub cheeked babies rise up into big people, and they bring you stuff way better than roses. They shine.

The Christmas List

I said there would be a list of my Joys and Thank Yous for Christmas. And here it is:

488. Christmas tree, shining in the living room. So pretty, so festive. It just glows.

489. Christmas lights twinkling in my house. I love the twinkly kind!

490. Christmas lights all over the countryside, sharing the Holiday Spirit with everyone!

491. Ornaments, reflecting the lights on the branches, telling their stories

492. Decorating the tree together with family, every ornament reminding us of something, some story past, and the sharing that happens right in that moment. Our family history shared and enjoyed.

493. The incredible fact that Christ, having lived forever in heaven, would be willing to come down, take on mortality, and live among us, in order to correct a wrong that we ourselves had done. Even though He knew it would be deeply painful and lead to His death. It's hard to understand such love.

494. Celebrating His birthday with the whole world.

495. Also celebrating family and friends and togetherness.

496. Finding gifts for people I love.

497. Getting good gifts. Did you think I would leave that out?? I am not that virtuous, people!

498. A new baby in the family.

499. The honor of attending the birth of that baby.

500. Sweet memories of being pregnant at Christmastime, kind of identifying with Mary and thinking how glad I was not to be on a donkey at nine months.

501. Nursing a baby by the light of the Christmas tree, in the middle of the night while all the house was silent. The lights from the tree cast a warm light on the baby's contented little face. All is Calm, All is Bright. It's a perfect moment of Peace and Love. This is one of my favorite Christmas memories of all.

Merry Christmas to all of you, dear friends.
Tonight I will be flying home for Christmas. As much as I am glad to have been here in Wyoming to attend daughter's first birth and to be some help, I am really excited to be heading home just in time for Christmas tomorrow.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." (John 14.27 NLT)

That's God's gift to you, if you take it. If you want more information, check out the Book, the Bible. It's all in there. Otherwise, just ask.

Happy Christmas Eve, friends, Merry Christmas too, and may your homes be filled with His peace and His love. May you each grow to know Him more and more as a good friend, One who loves us beyond anything we can understand.

Windy day in Cheyenne

It's blowing here. Man is it blowing! They say it can get windy in Cheyenne, and today they sure are right! I want to go out and run a couple errands in daughter's car (I am here visiting her and her family), but it is blowing so loud and hard I wonder how the car will handle in this wind.

I won't be going on the expressway so I imagine it'll be fine. I'll just make my list and go.

I am scheduled to fly home on Friday night, Christmas Eve! I am getting excited about that. It's good that I have been here. It's good I was here for her birth. I am trained as a doula, and she asked me to come. It's also good that she has had someone to help around the house, even though I haven't done a lot of work. Just straightening and getting the dishes done is helpful. Those first few days with a new baby can be so overwhelming. Babies need so much! And they need it constantly! It can be exhausting.

It is interesting that in so many cultures such great care is taken of a new mother. Not so much in this culture, but many places a mother is fed certain foods, restricted in her activities, massaged or loved on... different things in different cultures. I don't think I would like some of those customs, the ones that restricted my freedom especially. But I do think there is something to be said for taking special care of a new mother. Some places set apart a certain number of days - 40 days maybe - for this special time of postpartum care. I think this is a good thing, though I would wish for it to be flexible. In out culture I am suprised that women are expected to be at appointments as soon as the day after they leave the hospital (assuming they have gone to the hospital to give birth in the first place, which choice is another post altogether). If they give birth at home, I believe that any checks that need to be done are made in the home, with
midwives or visiting nurses coming in. At least, that has been my experience.

Anyway, I am here to be helpful for a couple weeks, and after that I think she will be ok. Her husband is very helpful. I hope other friends in the area pitch in too. But right now I have to go run a couple errands for her. Gotta go.

August Pleasures

383. second round of baby birds (the first, of course, was in the spring), squeezed tight in their little nest waiting for dinner to be delivered, clamoring in high pitched baby voices when it comes.

384. my birthday... all month! Claiming every celebration as my own!

385. basil and mint growing friendly together


386. hearing fireworks, from somewhere, celebrating something. I don't even know what... but isn't it fun to know someone, somewhere is celebrating?

387. Sunday night, family watching a movie all together

388. Hot temperatures calming down. Opening up my house to feel breezes again.

389. cicadas singing loud hot songs on long hot days

390. planning a party! for a beloved son who has earned it.

391. being proud of my kids in a mom sort of way, not proud of myself, but thrilled at the good qualities I see growing in them. I like these kids of mine!

rain, and we return to normal scheduling

I woke early this morning to the sound of thunder rolling, rolling, long and loud, across a dripping wet sky six shades darker than usual... and also to the sweet sound of Husband coming home. He and two sons just got back from taking Sweet Girl back out west after a visit here. It was good to have her here for the week.

Very Good.

We shopped and talked, she got to hang with her family. We got to love on her for a few days.

But now she is gone again, and my deep love goes with her. I work on balance: to care, but not carry the burdens that are hers alone. I do love that girl! Love all these kids with whom I have been blessed. I am so proud of the way they look out for each other, care for each other. It's the way I think Christ would want us to act toward each other.

So the house returns to normal, the rain falls hard, the thunder hollers loud and deep, the grass practically glows green after the good soak, the sky rests dark, and we all move a little slower because it's a rainy day. Rainy days are good that way. Restful. Also good to moderate the temperatures, which have been so high lately that even I, who was so looking forward to warmth, had to come inside and cool off, drinking glass after glass of water to stay hydrated.

Today the temperatures are gentler. Today we can open the windows and hear the outdoor sounds, feel less insulated. Today we can smell the freshness of grass after rain, move at a comfortable pace, and not have to use caution to avoid heat exhaustion.
Today I can enjoy having Husband back home. I missed him.

"Malling" with the girls

We went Malling, the girls and I.

Two daughters were gonna go out. Walk the mall, browse, whatever. I though that sounded fun too. They let me come along... and we had the best time!!

We tried on prom dresses. I'm seriously going to try shopping the junior department next time I need a "Mother of the Bride" dress. They tend to be much cuter than traditional "Mother's" dresses. And less expensive. One of these with a shawl or jacket over it would work really well, I'm thinking.

Of course the best fun was in seeing daughter try on things she would never think of buying. Well, maybe she would now that she tried it on once.

Beautiful! Fun, interesting things way out of our price ranges. But no matter... we weren't buying anyway, just getting ideas.

We got sweet snacks at the food court to hold us over till supper.

We shopped the shoe stores and found all kinds of things we liked and lots that we didn't. Funny how I got to thinking of all the things I need that I didn't think I needed before.

But we got out of there without buying a thing, except for the snacks. (Yay, us!)

We walked the mall till our feet were tired, and low blood sugar made us realize we needed supper but also made it hard to think where we wanted to go.



We finally decided to go to a Mexican place right near the mall.


Endless chips and salsa for all, endless enchiladas for the younger, and guac to share for the other two of us. Plus beans and rice... a full meal for us all. They made guacamole right at the table, and it was delicious!! We were having such a good time we even succumbed to the desert menu.

The Mayan chocolate cake is delicious. I had a tiny bite and am wishing to go back when the diet I'm on is past.

It was husband's idea for us to go out for supper. He's cool that way. He likes to see us happy. He said, "Just bring something home for us"... so that's what we did. We stopped at Wendy's on the way home and got the guys Doubles and Frostys. They thought it was wonderful!

I love having fun with my kids. Sometimes I have to be all serious and act like the responsible party. I can do that. It's important. But other times it is good to just relax and have a good time with them. They are great people to hang out with, and I'm glad we could do it.

(All these pics were taken with my cell phone. Yeah really, I know.
Not recommended, but I wasn't going to bring a big camera along.)

Ann's Easter Garden

I came across this wonderful idea (on Ann Voskamp's site), which I find beautiful and maybe even doable... maybe even at my house... I had to share it with you. Click here:

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2009/03/make-easter-garden-visual-parable.html

I have friends of all beliefs. This idea reflect my own beliefs very well. If you have other ideas, other beliefs, you might adapt it. But do check it out ... so sweetly done, so pretty, so full of life... and that is the Easter story - it's about life!

If I do this (and I still doubt my green ability here), I would review the facts of the story while making this with the children: the prayer in the other garden, the death (age-appropriately, of course), the stone rolled in front to keep Him in... which didn't work, of course, and then the greatest part, the Resurrection! which proved He was who He claimed, and what it all means to us. It means so much! It means our life, now and forever! It is such a great story, and we who believe must share it with the children... this seems such a good way to do that. Besides, it will serve as a focal point and reminder all through the season.

And if I could keep the plants alive, it would be a spot of beauty in the house. Who can't use some beauty in the house?

But, you know... big "if" right there.

What do you think... should I try it? Or should I have someone else try it for me??

midwinter randomicity: holidays, postpartum care...

Happy Groundhog's day, everyone! Or Happy Candlemas Day, whichever you like. Either way, this day marks the midpoint of winter, exactly halfway between winter solstice and the spring equinox. Have you noticed the light lasting longer into the evening? I have! It's amazing! It is without question still the dead of winter, and yet there are signs already that the seasons are turning. By the end of this month, the sap may already be running in the maples, as they prepare for spring. The end of February is when we used to tap the maple trees around here. Yes, we used to make maple syrup here at our house. It was fun and educational, and quite satisfying to make our own real maple syrup. It was delicious! We sort of lost interest in that project, though, when a poor little tree squirrel fell into our sap bucket and drowned! NO, I am not kidding! Yes, it was sad, and yet hilarious, in a warped sort of way. OK, not hilarious. I would never laugh at another's misfortune. But still...

It could have been funny.

But anyway...

Everyone knows about Groundhog's day, right? When the furry creature comes out of his hole and predicts whether spring is coming early? As if he would know? Right, ok. So Candlemas day, which is less familiar, is the day when women used to count their candles to make sure they had enough to last the rest of the winter. Or so I read last year. I do not know what they did if they were short. Did they make candles in the middle of winter, or was that strictly a fall activity? I don't know. But the middle of the winter does seem like a good time to check on things like that.

Candlemas day also commemorates the day when baby Jesus was taken to the temple, exactly 40 days after Christmas. It's when Mary finished her 40 days of postpartum seclusion. Does anyone wish we got 40 days of postpartum time off in our culture? It is interesting to look at the different ways birth and postpartum are done in various cultures. In some cultures today, the postpartum time is a time when the new mom is treated with special care. She is fed special foods to strengthen her and increase her milk supply. Her activities are limited, and women come in to bring gifts and to take over the chores for a specified number of days. Sometimes I think these practices sound overbearing, sometimes very nurturing. Depends, no doubt, not only on the culture, but very much on the individual women ministering to the mama. Women who have just given birth need to be cared for and listened to. They need their load lightened so they can focus on the new baby. But they don't need to be limited and bossed too much! I love to sit with a new mom and hear he tell her birth story. Those first few days after birth a mom is in a sort of time warp "bubble" and right then is when she needs to tell her story, over and over sometimes, and I love hearing it. I love the details, every last one, of how she worked so hard, how she was victorious, and how her power came into view as she gave birth to her baby. I love the glow, the warmth, that unique time in a woman's life. It is very special. Birth is a holy act. The afterglow is strong and lasts for days. I love being in that place with a woman.

Well, huh! How did I get from Groundhog's Day, to tree sap, to postpartum practices??? I do not know. I am just that random. Well actually, I know a woman who is back in the hospital right now with a serious infection after she gave birth in a hospital 2 months ago. I am concerned for her. I do not know her very closely, but still I am concerned for her. So postpartum care is on my mind.

I recently read online an article about this very thing: postpartum infections in the hospital. Now I can't find that article. Do any of you remember seeing something like this? I would very much like to reread it now, as you can probably imagine. If you find an article on this topic, please let me know. Please.

Thanks.

Permission to Mother: good reading for moms and the women who serve them

I recently finished reading a good book on mothering, birth, and breastfeeding. *Permission to Mother* is written by Denise Punger,M.D. Reading this book feels like having a conversation with another mom. She shares stories of her mothering journey - how she does things, how her views have changed with time, and cute things her kids have said. She shares her birth stories and what she learned through each of them. Denise has gone from a pretty much "by the book" doctor to a woman who mothers from her heart. Her husband is also a doctor and they have a practice in Florida, where she practices "breastfeeding medicine", a specialty I hadn't heard of before. She is very knowledgeable about breastfeeding and has helped and supported many moms who wish to breastfeed, even when they ran into difficulties. She is a strong supporter of adoptive breastfeeding. She really seems to know her business, but her attitude comes across as humble. I respect that.

Denise supports women's right to choose where and how they give birth, a right I too feel passionate about. So I liked this book, and I think some of you might, too. I don't think we are going to find it in a local library near Our Town just yet, since it was self-published in Florida. I have a copy, or you might look it up online. Go to Denise's website at permissiontomother.blogspot.com where you can find out more. It is really a good book, and easy to read in small installments since it's mostly in the form of her mothering and birth stories. Check it out; tell me what you think.