embracing this wildness

Today, Daughter has a broken tooth that must be remedied immediately. She's in considerable pain. She has hardly eaten or drunk anything in 36 hours (except for a smoothie last night), has a headache, and is very hungry and thirsty. On top of this, she woke up this morning with allergies bothering her and giving her a sore throat! She must feel terrible! This is the girl with a huge national registry exam later this week and who is also moving 2000 miles away in two and a half weeks... so there is a lot going on for her. We need to get this tooth taken care of so she can do the next thing.

Life piles up sometimes... and I guess hers is.

We will get her to the dentist and it will be better. We will figure out a way to pay for it even though there is no insurance. She will do great on her exam even though she will worry herself to a frenzy, and she will get moved on time.

A friend posted today that we need the wild places, the untamed places, the unsolved mysteries. Even in the middle of Our Town, right downtown, there are places yet not cultivated, places where the trees and weeds grow and the poison ivy creeps bright red up the trunks. There is beauty in the untamed, the unexplored, the unknown.

Life is like that too. As much as I wish to get it all figured out, tame my schedule, and understand everything...weeds and tangles appear. Teeth break and pain shoots right through the place in life where I thought it was all cultivated and smooth. Schedules change and unknowns pop up. Maybe that's ok. Maybe it's ok to do what you can and then let the rest be. Maybe the unknowns and unexpecteds of life are the wild places that we need more than we know. Maybe I need to do what I can to make things right, and then just embrace the rest in all its messy glory. Maybe I need to be more thankful for the uncultivated places in life, the unknown and unplanned, the unsolved mysteries, the "don't knows".





(ps - if you want to read my friend's post about the value of he wild places, go here:
http://studiobeerhorst.squarespace.com/journal/2011/10/10/into-the-wild.html?lastPage=true#comment15279492)

Right Here

Right here, I sit and write, and wonder whether I ought to be doing something else.
Like laundry.
Or dishes.
Or at least supervising those types of things...
Out there.
I do have responsibilities after all.
But I remember what I heard today...
that creativity is a thing to be used and nurtured.
So I sit,
Determined to continue sitting,
Right here,
Under the big round mirror,
Where the yellow chair is comfortable sometimes,
Bitingly uncomfortable at other times,
Where the laptop is all mine
And I can write
Or edit pictures.
To my heart's content.
I can create.
And it does make my heart content!
Sitting
Right here
In my yellow room,
Where sunshine comes in softly,
comfortable and inspiring.
Where the antique bed stands ready in case of guests,
But right now empty,
Freeing this room for me to play,
To nurture the creative,
Under its friendly gaze...
In this room,
Right here.

~klm~



(in response to the suggestion at
http://seedlingsinstone.blogspot.com/2010/08/on-in-and-around-mondays-room-with-view.html )

Places: Niagara Falls

(Theme Thursday this week: Water)

I am thinking about Niagara Falls today... have you ever been there?

When I was little, we stopped there several times... it was right on the way to my Grammie's house.

The Falls are so huge. But you knew that. You've seen pictures probably, right? Big, horseshoe-shaped cliff with water crashing, falling so far and so hard that it sends mist all the way to the top, where it feels like a constant light rain on the street above. When the sun is just right, there's even a rainbow. Very cool.


Actually the Niagara Falls include three individual falls: The American falls, the Bridal Veil falls (tiny one in the center above, near the American falls), and the Canadian or Horseshoe falls.


If you are going to the falls, I have a suggestion or two. The best view of the falls, and also the most "touristy" places to visit, if that's what you like, are on the Canadian side. In fact, the hill near the falls is so covered with neon that its kind of a joke. It glows! In the summer, there are thousands of flowers; the grounds are beautifully kept. The floral clock was a highlight for me when I was a child, and I still think it's pretty cool to see a huge working clock planted in the grass with flowers - different colors each year. At Christmas time, holiday lights are scattered all across the lawns.

(The US side has some nice things to see too, like the river before it gets to the falls, and an aquarium, but the most and best views are in Canada.)

Secondly, be aware that they know you're coming, and they want your money! The prices are ridiculously inflated! So... when you get there, travel a few blocks up the hill, AWAY from the falls, for meals and lodging, and you will be surprised how fast those prices go down! There was a great little restaurant there that served beefalo meat and also had great breakfasts. I stopped there several times when I went through on my way to take a son to school. Loved it. Just far enough away from the mist to be affordable. Excellent food, casual atmosphere. You'll find a good place, too, if you look around. Just remember to go up the hill a few blocks.

In January when it gets very cold, the mist freezes, covering all the trees in a thick layer. It is one of the most amazing things to see! So beautiful! I stood on the Canadian side and looked across to where all those white trees stood, ethereal and stunning. Go here to see what I mean. All these photos are copyrighted, but they are worth seeing!!



Winter storms swoop down once in a while and leave deep snow. One of our favorite memories of Niagara is waking up to a huge snow storm, and - since we had to get our son back to school in time for classes - setting out anyway, in spite of the weather. There had to be a good 6 - 8 inches of snow on the steep roads in town! It was quite an adventure trying to go uphill in the deep snow, and hoping we wouldn't have to stop for another driver who'd gotten stuck in front of us. We just went around them if we had to... if we could. It took a long time, spinning and slipping all the way... but eventually we got headed the right direction and made it across the bridge to the US. That's when we discovered that parts of the interstate were closed due to the storm.

Huge white flakes fell hard and fast as we thought about what to do next. If I had known about this, I would have probably wanted to stay in the hotel room until the storm subsided. But I had my two nearly grown sons with me who were convinced we could just take the back roads... the tiny little red lines on the map. They talked me into trying it, though I was really not sure that tiny red lines were a good idea. But they were right!! It was weird to be in the middle of such a big, snow-dumping storm and discover that by heading north we drove right out of it in only ten miles or so!! The lake effect storms there tend to be very localized, and I had not realized that. It turned into a good trip after all.

I wonder what the Falls will look like in a few years. The volume of water rushing over the edge is so great (150,000 US gallons per second!) that the edge is being eroded fast. If you look at pictures of the Horseshoe falls from years ago and compare them to today's falls, you can see that the shape of the horseshoe has changed significantly. There are engineers working on this situation.

By the way, those gallons also rush through a generator that supplies electricity to a lot of homes in the area. At night (this is almost too strange to believe, but it's true) they divert much of the river's flow through this electric plant, and some have said they thought someone turned off the falls at night. Obviously, no one can turn off Niagara falls! In fact, at night, colored lights shine on the water:

Looks pretty, doesn't it? And yet, for a few hours each night, according to Wikipedia, "between 50% and 75% of the Niagara River's flow is diverted via four huge tunnels" into the hydroelectric plant. It's impressive.

Here's another good link if you want to see some more pictures.

Niagara falls is an amazing work of nature.

Sunny Weekend, Part 1

Today is cool, grey, and wet. Yesterday was, too.

But last week! Oh! Last week, we had four warm, golden, sunny days in a row!! We loved it! We needed it! Everyone felt good, and we all got outdoors and savored the good weather. Our Town had some cool community events happening that weekend, and the timing was perfect to go and enjoy the activities outdoors.

Friday night I drummed downtown with a group, and people gathered on the sidewalks to listen and dance. I love when that happens, when we see people's joy because of our drums. I drummed for three hours, and my hands were slightly swollen and bruised when we were done. I loved it! Drumming is healing. It enriches me. I am thankful to God for giving me the joy of drumming with friends. And I am deeply thankful to those friends for teaching me to drum, and for letting me drum with them at events like this. Drumming deepens who I am; it gives me something I can't put into words. I only know I am somehow a better, stronger, happier person when I have drumming in my life. It is a gift from God to me, and I love it!

I didn't get pics of the drumming, because of course, I was busy. But Amy did, and you can go see them at her site here.

~~~

That was Friday, and Saturday dawned just as sunny and beautiful. In the morning, Daughter and I went to the park with the walking trails and we walked. I hadn't wanted to. I was ready to just sit. But I am so glad we went! We have been at the point in the season where the leaves are not budding and only the grass is green.

Most thing are still bare and brown.
(I find it hard to see the beauty in this.)

Those four days of warmth made a huge difference, though, and now things are starting to wake up.

I love that veil of green that comes when the bushes begin to leaf out, before any of the trees are showing green. It almost looks from a distance like a greenish mist in the woods.


I am so thankful for the five (more or less) senses that we are given. Seriously, they are they means through which I enjoy life, see the beauty, feel the breezes, experience all the other gifts that surround me. Our senses are a magnificent gift from the One who designed us! Thank you, God!! And those senses were soaking up a lot of beauty at the park!

We saw an intriguing log...

We wondered how the tree could have grown to have such a twist in it the length of the whole trunk.

I found a plant that I don't know yet, just budding along the water's edge. Anyone know what this is? (edit: I just learned that this is a marsh marigold. It's kind of nice to have a son who's a biologist.)

We saw skunk cabbage,


little yellow flowers,

strangely shaped trees,


and the sparkling sun reflecting on the water.



I heard invisible birds (I couldn't see them) singing an endless variety of songs in the tops of stark, leafless trees...


...Water laughing it way over rocks in the stream, and the sharp screech of a grass whistle from my sweet daughter.



I smelled the woods, the stream, and the fields. Each has its own scent, something I don't usually notice.

We felt the warm sun, the gentle breeze, the rough bark, the scratchy branches, and the scrootchy mud. If you've stepped in wet mud that sucked at your feet, you know what scrootchy means.



We found a tiny pink blossom, the delicacy of which made me want to just stop and study it. So beautiful!

(edit: Same biologist son tells me this is called a "spring beauty"... appropriately named.)

We walked through wet mud, green grass, and dry sand, over tree roots and boardwalks, past raspberry bushes, strawberry plants, blueberry bushes, apple trees, dead leaves, and horse poop.




Daughter wanted to catch a little garter snake, and I let her go chasing because I was confident she would not catch it.

She surprised me!!

And there followed a difficult conversation about why we could not take it home. Ouch.

But all in all, what a great morning! She was pretty disappointed about not bringing home the snake, and after lunch I decided to take her downtown for another fun event that was happening.

I'll post about that separately. Keep reading.

:-)


(PS - Thanks to my son who knows about plants and their names. He's a great resource! He's also a great person. I like him quite a bit! (-;)

Susan Boyles

If you have not seen this yet, you have to go here and see it. Remember Paul Potts? Well, Britain's done it again!

I do not know how to put youtube videos on my blog, so for now, I have to just give you the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

This video brought Husband and me to tears.

Thanks, Emilie, for telling me about this.

Enjoy!

ps -
Things I'm thankful for today:

105. Beautiful music that moves hearts
106. Crying because it's so beautiful
107. Not judging a book by its cover

Ann's Easter Garden

I came across this wonderful idea (on Ann Voskamp's site), which I find beautiful and maybe even doable... maybe even at my house... I had to share it with you. Click here:

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2009/03/make-easter-garden-visual-parable.html

I have friends of all beliefs. This idea reflect my own beliefs very well. If you have other ideas, other beliefs, you might adapt it. But do check it out ... so sweetly done, so pretty, so full of life... and that is the Easter story - it's about life!

If I do this (and I still doubt my green ability here), I would review the facts of the story while making this with the children: the prayer in the other garden, the death (age-appropriately, of course), the stone rolled in front to keep Him in... which didn't work, of course, and then the greatest part, the Resurrection! which proved He was who He claimed, and what it all means to us. It means so much! It means our life, now and forever! It is such a great story, and we who believe must share it with the children... this seems such a good way to do that. Besides, it will serve as a focal point and reminder all through the season.

And if I could keep the plants alive, it would be a spot of beauty in the house. Who can't use some beauty in the house?

But, you know... big "if" right there.

What do you think... should I try it? Or should I have someone else try it for me??

Spring comes

The Wooing

- a Poem of Seasons -

Winter woos us with exquisite beauty:
Lavender landscapes that glitter under the moonlight;
iridescent days when the air shimmers with shards of shattered sunlight thrown through the air by invisible snowflakes;

Blizzard days that cancel everything, leaving us to sit by the fireplace with warm cups of cocoa;

And powerful ice storms the leave the world covered in crystal-plated resplendence...

But then -

Spring comes dancing in and wins our hearts with her warmth and laughter.
She delights us with her sensuous charms:
Sunlight to gladden our souls;
Warmth to thaw the frozen earth, and the ground softens beneath our feet;
The sweet, lusty scent of a thousand newborn flowers;
The exquisite cacophony of morning birdsong;
And tender warm breezes to caress our skin.

We are renewed. And we fall in love with Spring.

~ (c) klm 2.03.04 ~

~~~~~~~
~~~

Winter has been long, and it has sort of worn us out. I felt in February as if I had aged ten years. But winter has also been good: Holidays and Ice Skating,

Good family times, beautiful snow in abundance,

snow days, sparkling days,
and beauty more than we can take in!

Still we are ready for spring. Oh, we are so ready!

Welcome, Spring!! We are so glad to see you!

And sure, there will be a few throwbacks with cold days, maybe a little snow... but it is all a bluff at this point, and I will not take any of that seriously, because Spring is here!! Today was the equinox and who would argue with that?

At our house the equinox has also been known as "stand an egg on its end day". In the past we have had the floors and counters scattered with raw eggs all standing on end, just to prove that we could. I can only say it takes a huge amount of patience and perseverance, and my sons have a lot more of that than I do.

Regardless, it is spring.

Happy Equinox, everybody!

Happy Springtime!!

Joy!



(pics: 1) blue pic, out across our back yard. I played with the picture to make it look more like a real evening lookd in the winter out here; 2) diligent son doing schoolwork by the fire... could there be a better place to study? 3) very cold morning with frost coating every single twig in whiteness; 4) Daffies pushing up, you've seen this image before; 5) Two of the sweetest girls in my life - daughter teaching grandgirl about ants on the sidewalk; 6) Oh, yeah - fantastic, happy January day ice skating with my three daughters! 7) Lots of snow out my back door; 8) More beauty than I can describe, across my back yard into the rising sun; 9) No snow out my back door! Yay! )

Birth Comparisons

I ran across this blog post that describes two different styles of giving birth. Very well explained, and worth reading if you are going to be giving birth. Check it out and tell me what you think.

http://keyboardrevolutionary.blogspot.com/2009/01/my-thoughts-on-midwifery-model-of-care.html

Bottom line - The place where a woman gives birth is sacred ground. Anyone who attends should respect that, remember they are extremely privileged to be there, and act accordingly. The hero in the room is the mom who is giving birth and she rules. Period.

Any questions?

The sap is running!

Hello, winter-weary ones! I have news! Remember when I told you the sap would be running before the month was out? Well... check out Dean Ohlman's blog! The sap's running! I have not seen it in person because, like I told you, I'm not likely to make syrup this year and I don't want to go snapping branches off just to see. But this naturalist did, and he writes about it far better than I could. The sap is running. Pretty cool, huh?That means the trees are waking up, and we have begun the long ascent to springtime.

And it is a long ascent. I don't want to hear, "spring is just around the corner", because I heard that all the time when I was a child and wondered just how long a corner had to be, anyway. It takes time. Spring comes in tiny increments. But we are moving in the right direction, and we will get there. Yes, we are getting there, and every little sign of spring is a wonder to celebrate.

I am thankful for:

62. The awareness of sweet sap beginning to course through deep veins of bare trees, bringing them new life, even before spring actually shows herself - an assurance that she IS on the way.

Tiny shoots- daffodil, I think - making their way through the cold - but no longer frozen - soil outside my back door, February 11, 2009

Midwinter thaw, February 11th. Raindrops hang from rose bush branch. Each sparkling drop holds the whole landscape in it, upside down! Minuscule inverted trees, only for the enjoyment of those who take time to see.

63. Raindrops with whole worlds reflected inside.
64. Tiny green shoots fighting up through the soil, demonstrating that nature is strong enough to move great obstacles in its exuberant pursuit of life.

Permission to Mother: good reading for moms and the women who serve them

I recently finished reading a good book on mothering, birth, and breastfeeding. *Permission to Mother* is written by Denise Punger,M.D. Reading this book feels like having a conversation with another mom. She shares stories of her mothering journey - how she does things, how her views have changed with time, and cute things her kids have said. She shares her birth stories and what she learned through each of them. Denise has gone from a pretty much "by the book" doctor to a woman who mothers from her heart. Her husband is also a doctor and they have a practice in Florida, where she practices "breastfeeding medicine", a specialty I hadn't heard of before. She is very knowledgeable about breastfeeding and has helped and supported many moms who wish to breastfeed, even when they ran into difficulties. She is a strong supporter of adoptive breastfeeding. She really seems to know her business, but her attitude comes across as humble. I respect that.

Denise supports women's right to choose where and how they give birth, a right I too feel passionate about. So I liked this book, and I think some of you might, too. I don't think we are going to find it in a local library near Our Town just yet, since it was self-published in Florida. I have a copy, or you might look it up online. Go to Denise's website at permissiontomother.blogspot.com where you can find out more. It is really a good book, and easy to read in small installments since it's mostly in the form of her mothering and birth stories. Check it out; tell me what you think.

winter blues/SMAES

Yeah, well, winter is starting to get to me. Not because I don't think it's beautiful. (You know I think it is.) But I get feeling like less than me. See, my brain cells run on solar power and without the sun spending its days shining on me, it is hard for me to think! They call it SADDS. I don't like that name, because one of those Ds stands for disorder, and almost everyone I talk to (north of the mason-dixon, where we have real, bone-numbing winters) is affected by this season in similar ways: depression, low energy, suppressed immune system, foggy brain, etc. So if it's universal, it's not a disorder, it's normal. Obviously.

I think a better name might be... SMAES. Yeah. Seasonal Mood And Energy Slump. Now doesn't that fit better? Let's call it that instead. It's just a slump, you'll get over it, sounds way better than a depressive disorder. That right there is enough to send you into a depression by itself!

Still, I don't like feeling depressed, not even if it's just a little bit. And so I got to thinking, either I can just give up and feel miserable for the rest of the winter, or I can at least try to do something to make it better. But what? Well, the truth is I do realize that I am always surrounded by beauty and it is my choice whether to see it or not. When my energy is low, it can be hard to find the beauty. It can be hard to choose thankfulness and joy. So that means it is going to take some extra work. But I can do it. It may be harder, but I can at least try, right? So that's what I am going to do.

I have been working on that today - being thankful, ... and what do you know, I am starting to feel better. I also have been drinking more water and increased my vita D a bit, and went to the chiro today. So, yeah, a multi-pronged approach.

So here is what I am thankful for today, some of the things that bring delight to my days. I am continuing my "Joys and Thank Yous" list from before and starting here where I left off there. (You will recognize some of these favorite things from last Wednesday's post.)

16. Home made cocoa from scratch: You put cocoa powder in a cup and stir in about an equal amount of honey till smooth. (Takes a lot of stirring.) Then add milk (cow or soy) and microwave till hot. Stir and enjoy! Wow! Amazing hot chocolate!

17. Going on a date with Husband! (-: Yeah, he's cool that way. Every Friday.

18. The cool architecture downtown, with the old buildings contrasting the new.

19. The ice skating rink downtown! What a great city!

20. Walking the sidewalks downtown and remembering walks there with my mom when I was little. Especially Mr. Peanut in the store front, and the Christmas windows with moving statues of Santa and his friends.

21. Mocha.

22. Chai, plenty spicy and sweet. So good on a cold day!

23. Taking pictures of anything that piques my interest.

24. Ice sculptures! So incredibly pretty, sparkling in the sun.

25. The warmth of candles flickering on stovetop and table, in a warm home when deep white snow blankets everything outside.

26. Loving the man I married.

27. Having children who love me.

28. Playing games together as a family.



29. Cell phones with games on them.

30. Fresh, clean water to drink. (I appreciate this much more since our pump quit, once in the dead of winter.)

31. Strong, handsome sons.

32. Beautiful daughters.

33. Having children who, as they grow, become the kind of people who I would want to choose for friends even if we weren't related.

34. Holiday times, when the children all come over with their own families and we have a full, happy house!

35. Random twinkle Christmas lights. (Really! I just love them!)

36. Gingerbread people.

37. Baking Christmas cookies with my children.












38. Going out with a daughter - for lunch, movie, shopping, whatever, and just enjoying the time together.

39. Craft nights! Getting together with some great friends who make me a better person. I am so thankful for them.

40. Blizzards - staying inside feeling safe and protected while the winds howl and the snow blows outside.

41. Snow days! Everything canceled and us here together relaxing.

42. Home made soup. Bean soup, potato soup, vegetable soup, whatever. There's something good about home made soup. (Except maybe pumpkin soup. That recipe, while saying something about my resourcefulness in using what we have on hand, did not win kudos from my fans here. Nope, not so much.)

43. Friends who love me no matter what. Wow!

44. That delicious feeling of cool, smooth sheets against my skin when I go to bed at the end of a long day, tired and so ready to rest.

45. The way the very air seems to sparkle on an extremely cold day (close to zero degrees F), but only when the sun is shining brightly and is at a low angle in the sky. (a phenomenon explained here at wonderofcreation.org.) It looks so magical, it's hard to believe, as if the air is filled with invisible glitter. Wow!

Well, that's all for now. Thankfulness rocks! If laughter is the best medicine, thankfulness is a good tonic. Remember tonics? Neither do I. But I guess they were supposed to make you healthy and strong. Mammy Yokum swore by them. Remember Mammy Yokum? OK, never mind.


(pics: Our Downtown; one of my offspring and I decorating Christmas Cookies together.)

Joys and Thank Yous

Years ago, my brother gave me a book called 14,000 Things to be Happy About, or The Happy Book, by Barbara Kipfer. Basically it's a list of... well, I guess that's self evident. 14 thousand of them, though! Pretty cool, I thought. And so I decided to start my own list. I call it "Joys and Thank Yous". These are things that bring me delight and joy. And I thank God for them.

I want to share them with you as I think of them.

Over at www.aholyexperience.com, Ann Voskamp tells of the "Gratitude Community", a group of people who are also making lists of things they are thankful for, one by one. It's fun. I've been doing this for a long time, and it helps me to develop a mindset of thankfulness. You can make a list too, if you like.

ok...

Some of these are from before, things I remember from the first list I started, which I can't find. I do hope I find it soon. Not only does it bring me happiness to read, it also reminds me of moments in my life that were special.

1. Nursing a baby to sleep, middle of the night, with the colored Christmas tree lights bathing sweet baby face in a soft glow. (This is one of my most precious memories.)

2. Toddler hands. with dimples at the base of each chubby finger, stretched out like fat little five-pointed stars.

3. A surprise visit from friends

4. Bright yellow leaves dropping from trees like golden coins being tossed down.

5. Finding a four-leaf clover

6. Finding a four-leaf clover patch!

7. A new pair of thick wool socks, cozy, soft and warm.

8. Crystals hanging, sparkling in my kitchen window, casting bright rainbows all over my walls and ceiling when the sun shines in.



9. Long icicles hanging from the roof's edge, sparkling inthe sun, looking very much like winter should look.

10. Home grown tomatoes in the summer.

11. The first snow. The excitement that comes with those first flakes drifting down and turning the ground white.

12. Watching TV with the family in front of a blazing fireplace on a cold night.

13. Home made chili with plenty of garlic and spice to make it healthy - so delicious!

14. Having Husband home.

15. Eggnog. Oh, yeah! With that little sprinkle of nutmeg on top like we always do.


OK, it's a start. Maybe I can list more another day. There is so much around us to be thankful for. If you decide to start your own list, please let me know. It's so much fun to find new things to be happy about!

And also, by the way... I wish I knew how to add more pictures to these posts. Only one per post? There must be something I'm missing.

(pic: The book my brother gave me.)