the next great adventure

Psalm 144:1, 2

"Praise be to the Lord for my rock, who trains my hands for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield in whom I take refuge, who subdues people under me."

Life turns and I wonder what's next. I'm studying new things and meeting new people, taking on new projects. The responsibilities I have owned for years are still with me, and I don't want to neglect them, but something new is coming.

I look at these verses in Psalm 144 and wonder what battles I have ahead, what changes will I help to make in the world? How can I be helpful? How will God use my strengths? How can I help change the world?

He is training my hands even now for something important. I sense it. It's exciting.

I am grown-up enough to know that taking on new things will not always be exciting, though, or fun or easy. There will be days of discouragement as well as days of exhilarating victory. But He is my shield in whom I take refuge. On those unhappy days, you will find me taking refuge in Him, the one who loves me unconditionally, even when I mess up in stupid, messy ways. I will be going to Him for comfort because He is the God of all comfort, and for instruction, so I can clean up the mess and do better next time.

A song says, "Sometimes I feel like I can do anything. Other times I feel like I have nothing good to bring." I so get that. I have had days lately when I felt next best thing to invincible. I feel my strength, and it feels powerful! It feels fantastic! I feel like I am part of something great, something amazing, and I matter, and I can do whatever life brings, whatever God assigns to me.

But other days I feel small. Tired. And I wonder what I was thinking.

That's ok. I can have small days. Over all, I believe God, the Lord my Rock, is training my hands for battles... against untruth, against lies and falsehood, against ideas that do not belong.

I am going to make a difference. Not because I am all that, really, but because God is all that, and he is training me, strengthening me, and assigning me to an important task. If I ever believe it is all about me, I will crash land flat on my face. But as long as i am a servant of the Most High God, maintaining the humility that comes with service and the confidence that comes with not being self-focused, as long as I depend on Him to strengthen me and don't claim that the strength is all mine, then I believe I will be part of something amazing.

I don't know how it is all going to look. It will be scary sometimes, no doubt, and satisfying, and I will be serving others and facing giants of some kind. Sometimes I will be exhausted, and fed up. It But I am saying, "Yes".

Yes!

Yes to the next great adventure. Let's do this.

midwifery gathering

We sit in Janice's house, with the snow falling past the window.

Janice is the teacher. She tells stories. Birth stories.

Dressed in soft purple knits, with snow falling thick and gentle behind her, she tells of the small woman giving birth, how Janice went early and traveled through a different snowstorm to get there, about the dad and how he helped his partner, the remedies used, and the wonderful outcome, how she got her warrior woman on and gave birth with power. Great stories.

We talk about remedies and what they do, and we drink tea.

We learn about herbs and birth, and what is normal. We laugh and talk and we laud the strength of birthing women and the partners who love them well.

These gatherings feed my soul. I learn and am nourished. I love these sisters on the path. We are learning together and we will be midwives ourselves someday. Like Janice. Warrior women, serving warrior women.

Windy day in Cheyenne

It's blowing here. Man is it blowing! They say it can get windy in Cheyenne, and today they sure are right! I want to go out and run a couple errands in daughter's car (I am here visiting her and her family), but it is blowing so loud and hard I wonder how the car will handle in this wind.

I won't be going on the expressway so I imagine it'll be fine. I'll just make my list and go.

I am scheduled to fly home on Friday night, Christmas Eve! I am getting excited about that. It's good that I have been here. It's good I was here for her birth. I am trained as a doula, and she asked me to come. It's also good that she has had someone to help around the house, even though I haven't done a lot of work. Just straightening and getting the dishes done is helpful. Those first few days with a new baby can be so overwhelming. Babies need so much! And they need it constantly! It can be exhausting.

It is interesting that in so many cultures such great care is taken of a new mother. Not so much in this culture, but many places a mother is fed certain foods, restricted in her activities, massaged or loved on... different things in different cultures. I don't think I would like some of those customs, the ones that restricted my freedom especially. But I do think there is something to be said for taking special care of a new mother. Some places set apart a certain number of days - 40 days maybe - for this special time of postpartum care. I think this is a good thing, though I would wish for it to be flexible. In out culture I am suprised that women are expected to be at appointments as soon as the day after they leave the hospital (assuming they have gone to the hospital to give birth in the first place, which choice is another post altogether). If they give birth at home, I believe that any checks that need to be done are made in the home, with
midwives or visiting nurses coming in. At least, that has been my experience.

Anyway, I am here to be helpful for a couple weeks, and after that I think she will be ok. Her husband is very helpful. I hope other friends in the area pitch in too. But right now I have to go run a couple errands for her. Gotta go.

new joys. constantly.

429. ripe, sweet pear, brought fresh this morning from the farmer's market, juicy goodness glistening in the sun

430. the luxury of a pedicure

431. bright pink nail polish

432. fresh paint, making a room new

433. subscriptions to online comics bringing me smiles every day

434. seeing a friendly dog downtown that reminded me of The Never Ending Story.

(She looks kind of like that big white friendly creature in the movie, doesn't she?)

435. Learning together with my midwifery sister-students. There is something special about being with these women. Hanging out with them nourishes my soul.

436. Adirondack chairs right outside my door, waiting for the break when I take a cup of tea, or a tall glass of water, and rest a few minutes

437. warm breezes after a run of fall-cool days. This feels better!

438. street musicians spreading music and good will all through the neighborhood

VBAC consent form for the docs

For the women who want to have a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) and can't find a doctor who will listen to them or cooperate with them... for the women who feel pressured to do what they do not believe is best for their babies or themselves... Giselle has a post here that you have got to read! Yes, folks, it is a different kind of consent form, one for the ob guys to sign.

I found out about this breath of fresh air over here, on the Enjoy Birth blog, where there are some other great things to read, too.

Check out both of these.

If you are going to be giving birth, it is important to be informed! These two links have some good information in them. Also, down on the right of this page, you'll find a widget with links to Jan Tritten's blog. Jan is a woman who really knows her business. What she says reflects the latest research as well as ancient women's wisdom in matters of pregnancy, labor, and birth-giving. Jan is the mother and editor of the magazine Midwifery Today.

It matters how we give birth. It matters because we are giving life to a new generation, and the way that generation begins life can shape their future. And they will be the ones who shape the future for all of us. So as far as possible, give the best, most peaceful, loving start to the baby who has been entrusted to you, starting when you are pregnant.

It really matters how we give birth. It matters because women who give birth in joy and with an awareness of their power are never the same afterwards. Nothing, noone will be able to fully convince them they are weak, ever again. They know better. They have a confidence about them. And that is good for everyone.

It matters how we give birth, it really does.

Go check out those links, and tell me what you think.

midwinter randomicity: holidays, postpartum care...

Happy Groundhog's day, everyone! Or Happy Candlemas Day, whichever you like. Either way, this day marks the midpoint of winter, exactly halfway between winter solstice and the spring equinox. Have you noticed the light lasting longer into the evening? I have! It's amazing! It is without question still the dead of winter, and yet there are signs already that the seasons are turning. By the end of this month, the sap may already be running in the maples, as they prepare for spring. The end of February is when we used to tap the maple trees around here. Yes, we used to make maple syrup here at our house. It was fun and educational, and quite satisfying to make our own real maple syrup. It was delicious! We sort of lost interest in that project, though, when a poor little tree squirrel fell into our sap bucket and drowned! NO, I am not kidding! Yes, it was sad, and yet hilarious, in a warped sort of way. OK, not hilarious. I would never laugh at another's misfortune. But still...

It could have been funny.

But anyway...

Everyone knows about Groundhog's day, right? When the furry creature comes out of his hole and predicts whether spring is coming early? As if he would know? Right, ok. So Candlemas day, which is less familiar, is the day when women used to count their candles to make sure they had enough to last the rest of the winter. Or so I read last year. I do not know what they did if they were short. Did they make candles in the middle of winter, or was that strictly a fall activity? I don't know. But the middle of the winter does seem like a good time to check on things like that.

Candlemas day also commemorates the day when baby Jesus was taken to the temple, exactly 40 days after Christmas. It's when Mary finished her 40 days of postpartum seclusion. Does anyone wish we got 40 days of postpartum time off in our culture? It is interesting to look at the different ways birth and postpartum are done in various cultures. In some cultures today, the postpartum time is a time when the new mom is treated with special care. She is fed special foods to strengthen her and increase her milk supply. Her activities are limited, and women come in to bring gifts and to take over the chores for a specified number of days. Sometimes I think these practices sound overbearing, sometimes very nurturing. Depends, no doubt, not only on the culture, but very much on the individual women ministering to the mama. Women who have just given birth need to be cared for and listened to. They need their load lightened so they can focus on the new baby. But they don't need to be limited and bossed too much! I love to sit with a new mom and hear he tell her birth story. Those first few days after birth a mom is in a sort of time warp "bubble" and right then is when she needs to tell her story, over and over sometimes, and I love hearing it. I love the details, every last one, of how she worked so hard, how she was victorious, and how her power came into view as she gave birth to her baby. I love the glow, the warmth, that unique time in a woman's life. It is very special. Birth is a holy act. The afterglow is strong and lasts for days. I love being in that place with a woman.

Well, huh! How did I get from Groundhog's Day, to tree sap, to postpartum practices??? I do not know. I am just that random. Well actually, I know a woman who is back in the hospital right now with a serious infection after she gave birth in a hospital 2 months ago. I am concerned for her. I do not know her very closely, but still I am concerned for her. So postpartum care is on my mind.

I recently read online an article about this very thing: postpartum infections in the hospital. Now I can't find that article. Do any of you remember seeing something like this? I would very much like to reread it now, as you can probably imagine. If you find an article on this topic, please let me know. Please.

Thanks.

Permission to Mother: good reading for moms and the women who serve them

I recently finished reading a good book on mothering, birth, and breastfeeding. *Permission to Mother* is written by Denise Punger,M.D. Reading this book feels like having a conversation with another mom. She shares stories of her mothering journey - how she does things, how her views have changed with time, and cute things her kids have said. She shares her birth stories and what she learned through each of them. Denise has gone from a pretty much "by the book" doctor to a woman who mothers from her heart. Her husband is also a doctor and they have a practice in Florida, where she practices "breastfeeding medicine", a specialty I hadn't heard of before. She is very knowledgeable about breastfeeding and has helped and supported many moms who wish to breastfeed, even when they ran into difficulties. She is a strong supporter of adoptive breastfeeding. She really seems to know her business, but her attitude comes across as humble. I respect that.

Denise supports women's right to choose where and how they give birth, a right I too feel passionate about. So I liked this book, and I think some of you might, too. I don't think we are going to find it in a local library near Our Town just yet, since it was self-published in Florida. I have a copy, or you might look it up online. Go to Denise's website at permissiontomother.blogspot.com where you can find out more. It is really a good book, and easy to read in small installments since it's mostly in the form of her mothering and birth stories. Check it out; tell me what you think.