midwifery gathering

We sit in Janice's house, with the snow falling past the window.

Janice is the teacher. She tells stories. Birth stories.

Dressed in soft purple knits, with snow falling thick and gentle behind her, she tells of the small woman giving birth, how Janice went early and traveled through a different snowstorm to get there, about the dad and how he helped his partner, the remedies used, and the wonderful outcome, how she got her warrior woman on and gave birth with power. Great stories.

We talk about remedies and what they do, and we drink tea.

We learn about herbs and birth, and what is normal. We laugh and talk and we laud the strength of birthing women and the partners who love them well.

These gatherings feed my soul. I learn and am nourished. I love these sisters on the path. We are learning together and we will be midwives ourselves someday. Like Janice. Warrior women, serving warrior women.

trip out west

So I went out west.

Out where the mountains are rocky and covered with snow...



...and provide many opportunities to marvel at their amazing beauty.
(I took this picture from the road somewhere between Denver and Cheyenne, when we had stopped for gas.)

Out West where there are buffaloes and bluffs, and brown landscapes surround.

... and the SUNSETS!! Oh, my goodness, the sunsets!

Yeah, this is what they see from their front door after supper! I don't know what it is about the west that makes such skyscapes, but they are always something special!

I went there to help out this girl:

My daughter, and her husband, who were having their first baby.

In fact, she is in early labor in this picture. Relaxing at home.
Using my laptop to catch up on Facebook.

I helped them put up their first Christmas Tree!




That was fun.

I cooked a few meals, and I loaded their dishwasher a few times.

And I got to help with this:

(She did most of the work, I just cheered her on to victory.)

They even let me hold her!
(I have a thing about not holding other people's new babies too much until the mama and daddy get to. I think it's important to respect that bonding time and let the new family get to know each other first. But they were willing to share, and after that first day or two, I was fine with getting to cuddle my new grandgirl!)


Yeah, I was very fine with it!


I think they are doing great. I'm glad I got to be there with them for a little bit.

The Christmas List

I said there would be a list of my Joys and Thank Yous for Christmas. And here it is:

488. Christmas tree, shining in the living room. So pretty, so festive. It just glows.

489. Christmas lights twinkling in my house. I love the twinkly kind!

490. Christmas lights all over the countryside, sharing the Holiday Spirit with everyone!

491. Ornaments, reflecting the lights on the branches, telling their stories

492. Decorating the tree together with family, every ornament reminding us of something, some story past, and the sharing that happens right in that moment. Our family history shared and enjoyed.

493. The incredible fact that Christ, having lived forever in heaven, would be willing to come down, take on mortality, and live among us, in order to correct a wrong that we ourselves had done. Even though He knew it would be deeply painful and lead to His death. It's hard to understand such love.

494. Celebrating His birthday with the whole world.

495. Also celebrating family and friends and togetherness.

496. Finding gifts for people I love.

497. Getting good gifts. Did you think I would leave that out?? I am not that virtuous, people!

498. A new baby in the family.

499. The honor of attending the birth of that baby.

500. Sweet memories of being pregnant at Christmastime, kind of identifying with Mary and thinking how glad I was not to be on a donkey at nine months.

501. Nursing a baby by the light of the Christmas tree, in the middle of the night while all the house was silent. The lights from the tree cast a warm light on the baby's contented little face. All is Calm, All is Bright. It's a perfect moment of Peace and Love. This is one of my favorite Christmas memories of all.

Merry Christmas to all of you, dear friends.
Tonight I will be flying home for Christmas. As much as I am glad to have been here in Wyoming to attend daughter's first birth and to be some help, I am really excited to be heading home just in time for Christmas tomorrow.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." (John 14.27 NLT)

That's God's gift to you, if you take it. If you want more information, check out the Book, the Bible. It's all in there. Otherwise, just ask.

Happy Christmas Eve, friends, Merry Christmas too, and may your homes be filled with His peace and His love. May you each grow to know Him more and more as a good friend, One who loves us beyond anything we can understand.

Wrapping Gifts With my Kids on the first Snowy Day of the Season.

Gift Wrapping on the First Snowy Day


First of December,
The snow begins falling...
Couple of inches and
Keeps coming down.
Quiet and bright.
Ground soft and white.

Up in my sweet room
There with my offspring,
Colorful wrapping,
Fun job ahead...
Presents galore
Spread on the floor.

We are relaxing,
Music is playing...
Happy old Christmas songs
from long ago.
Complete contentment
One perfect moment.

~klm~
12.2.10

It really was one of those perfect moments that will stay in my memory bank for life. One wonderful son, one precious daughter, and me, all together in the room we have just redecorated with my favorite colors. My work was done, so I curled up with pillows on the day bed while they sat on the floor and we talked.

Somehow all the Christmas wrapping paper in the house had migrated to this room, and the gifts they had chosen were spread on the floor waiting to be wrapped.

Pandora filled the air with its best old Christmas music, the kind you hear on the radio every season: "Silver Bells", "Baby, It's Cold Outside", Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, and Eartha Kitts, and the room was filled with Christmas happiness and the love of family.

Then it began to snow!

And outside the windows, we watched things change from late autumn's brown to a new, clean, pure white. The first snow! Right there, right at that moment, while we basked in each other's company, surrounded by colorful papers and ribbons, wrapping gifts to the sound of the season, right then the sky shared its own holiday treasures, and the air inside brightened as the air outside filled with tiny white snowflakes and the ground was covered with white, freshened for a new season.

Perfect moments like this can only be the gifts of a perfect heavenly Father who loves us more than we deserve. I am so grateful to be loved so lavishly.

Where I've Been

Wow, seriously? I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted. My last post was a gratitude list from Thanksgiving! Linda from Lime in the Coconut read that and suggested it was time for a Christmas list. She has a point! I have been busy with life and not with writing. But it's time. And Ted from Jesus Community noticed I tend to make lists. Well, he's right, I do... this time I'm not listing, but I expect to have a Christmas list up soon. Today I want to tell you where I've been and what I've been up to. I haven't posted much lately because life required my full attention.

I am halfway across the country right now, in the state of Wyoming. The weather is far different here from at home where they are experiencing true winter with near blizzard conditions.

I came out here to attend my daughter's first birth. (I am a trained doula, as well as being her mom.) Got here on December 8th and plan to fly back home on the 24th. A tiny pink thing, Lindsey Ann, was born on the 10th, only two days after I got here. She weighed 7lb, 13 oz, was 20 inches long, and she is simply beautiful. See for yourself:



She has so many different expressions! The run across her face like cloud shadows run across the plains on a windy day, changing constantly.

Sometimes she studies the world around her like a little scientist, scowling in deep thought, figuring out this new discovery. Sometimes a hint of a smile flits across her contented little face. It is amazing, isn't it, how much real humanity is packed into such a tiny package?



After about three days, yesterday she seemed to be getting the hang of life on the outside. Days are beginning to smooth out. Those first few days with a newborn are so intense, with such a huge learning curve for all involved. But everyone is doing well and already I see things settling down.

Meanwhile, back at home, a big winter storm came through. It turned super-cold and roads got very slippery. This is what they tell me by phone. On the way home from church - a half hour drive - the temp dropped 5 degrees and roads began freezing over. Husband was the passenger and my son got a well-coached "first crazy-slippery driving of the season" lesson. I was glad for this. Everyone takes a few times out to remember winter driving each season, and yes, even though he is a pretty responsible 19 year old, still, ice is ice and I worried a little. I will worry a lot less now, knowing his dad was there to help him out this one time when it got so bad.

So I am here, going out shopping in just a sweater while at home they are bundling up. It feels strange. But I am glad that I can be here to help out for a while. I fix meals, help put up their first Christmas tree, load the dishwasher, answer questions on baby care, etc. It's not a lot, but it seems to help out.




It's good.

the smell of winter

The last Sunday morning in October, I sat in the pew and noticed that the air smelled dry, and dusty, like winter. Like Winter, when the furnace blows and the air dries up, and things are dead and brown, and dusty, and scarce on life. That was the last Sunday in October.

The very next day was November, and later in the week brought the first flurries flying in the almost freezing, under an absent-minded sky that scowled, ever so slightly, like it wasn't sure what it was supposed to do.

November is for gray skies. For sunless days that string together like dirty pearls. We all forget what we are supposed to do. We forget who we were, back in the summer. Life ebbs.

Two different people asked me today, as the flurries flew outside, what did I think of the snow? And I said I didn't know yet. I'm not sure what I am supposed to think. I haven't decided. Some people seem surprised by the snow. Others counter with, "What did you expect, it's November!"

I know the snow will pile deep, and then it will shine. It will soften the lines of the landscape and reflect the moon's blue glow. It will sparkle on sunny days and become dotted with sledders on the hills. It will be beautiful. I will love it then. But it will be cold, so cold, and life will ebb some more. Energy fades in the winter. Smiles fade under the colorless skies, and souls need the sun to shine.

But it will be beautiful.

So I don't know what to think, how I feel about the snow that came today. I'm not getting giddy out of a sense of obligation, that's what I'm not. But I'm not hating it, either. Little kids love it, drivers don't. I have no opinion. It's just flurries. It isn't staying yet. Like the smell of winter, it portends, that's all.


(I was challenged by Emily at http://canvaschild.blogspot.com/ to write something to join her and a bunch of her friends for "imperfect prose on Thursdays" over at her place. I wasn't sure if I had anything, but I guess I did after all.)

Sugarbush time

The weather is changing. It feels good to see winter wane. After being cooped up all winter, I felt we could use a change of pace, so yesterday we went to the Nature Center,
then out to lunch, and after that, to the library.

It was a good day.

We saw the animal hospital, where wild animals are rescued and their injuries treated. Once healed, they are returned to the wild if at all possible. If not, they stay here.
There are several types of owls here. Very interesting.


There are also turtles. Big sis got right down there to see them.



After that we walked along the trail to the sugar shack. Sunshine and temps in the low 40s have melted a lot of the snow, but there is a narrow strip of it right in the shadow of the fence.



In the sugar shack, we watched the maple sap being boiled down into syrup. We lstened to explanations of hygrometers and fires, how to stoke them so the newly made syrup won't burn as you draw it off.


Outdoors, there's the "Pioneer Sugar Camp".


It shows the old way of gathering the sap...


and cooking it down into maple syrup.


We also saw falcons, hawks, and a bobcat, each in its own large enclosure there.
We saw and heard lots of other birds, singing the songs of early spring.



Here's a cool looking sculpture with my offspring behind it


At the little general store, we bought spiles for tapping our own maples, and pixie sticks. My kids thought I was crazy to buy them a treat like this. They are used to my telling them how important it is to eat healthy. But this was a fun day and I wanted them to enjoy it.

We did enjoy it. It was great.

We even saw a heart shaped log. Kind of reminded me that love pops up in the most surprising places sometimes. I love my my kids a lot. Spending time doing fun things together like this celebrates that love and gives us all chance to enjoy each other's company. It makes love grow.

See how the light shines through this heart log? Isn't that what love is all about?
It's letting the light shine through us onto others.


fun day...good day

strange night noises

Sleeping in Spare Oom last night, to be nearer the fire's warmth, I woke about 3am to a strange light. Through my open door (to let the warmth wander in more easily) I could see the basement light shining. The girls were sleeping down there, because that's the warmest place in the house right now, right in front of the woodstove. Knowing they were fine, I rolled over to resume sleep. But what to my wondering ears should appear but the strangest middle of the night noise...sleepy brain took a minute to recognize it... it was the sound of paper ripping.

Repeatedly.

Long strips of paper.

I waited. Silence would come soon and I would sleep.

Then Ka-THUNK!! Long pause.....Ka-THUNK!!...

WHAT?? Sleepy brain is waking up fast now!

THUNK!!


...pause...


THUNK!!


Now I have to go check it out. I have no idea what could be making such a racket. Creeping out of bed to head down the stairs, I find the girls up in the middle of the night. One has the ax held high and then down it comes...THUNK!!... They are splitting wood to stoke the fire!! Splitting wood at 3 am! Do you HEAR this??

THUNK!!

I am sure Pa Ingalls never did it this way.

He slept at night and stoked the fire in the morning.

Our furnace quit, and we've been keeping the woodstove going during the days to take the chill off. The basement stays about 80 degrees, the main level about 63 and the upstairs, where the bedrooms are, is about 52. This is something of an accomplishment when the outdoor temp is only in the twenties.

We adapt. We wear layers. We let the sun shine in when we can. We bake more. But no matter what we do, it gets cold at night. It's 14 degrees outside right now, and it gets below 60 in the living room as the fire dies. We don't sleep in those 52 degree bedrooms; we find warmer places in the house to hunker down with our heated rice packs. If Laura Ingalls can do this, so can we!

The girls who were sleeping in front of the fire last night woke up when the fire got cold. So they got up, split a few logs, ripped up some kindling, stoked the fire, then went back to sleep. I just pull the blankets up and snuggle in deeper. They impress me with their strength and determination.

I think we might be sleeping light, all of us, in the cold, because we all feel tired during the day. We aren't getting a lot done these days, either. Keeping the fire going and finding ways to stay warm takes enough time and attention that other things, I'm afraid, get left for later. Apparently, a modicum of comfort does increase efficiency.

The new furnace is scheduled to be installed Thursday and Friday of this week. We should be warm by the weekend, and I think we will all be more appreciative of warmth when we get it back.

delights of daily life, a winter version

269. the quiet glow of pale blue snowscape under brightest moon, in cloudless sky


270. full moon rising huge

271. air so cold it feels crispy

272. crunchy footprints happening right under my feet

273. NOT getting stuck on the driveway-hill!

274. fireplaces, woodstoves, and the glowing orange they carry, blazing warmth right into our bodies


275. working in the kitchen with my children: making supper of hot soup, watching them create their own delicious recipes, or baking banana nut bread all together

276. roasting marshmallows in the toaster, on top of graham crackers, with a sliver of chocolate buried inside

278. the blackness of the night sky alongside a very full moon

279. stars twinkling

280. mysteries yet to be understood

281. warm sweaters

282. red

283. digital cameras

284. blogging

285. my new laptop, which I love not only for its beautiful white glossy coat,

285. but also for the way it helps me keep in contact with friends

and write papers for class.

286. the botanical gardens, especially in winter,
when warmth and green life is nowhere to be found outside,
but lush and abundant inside, and the air is moist and feels good to breathe.

287. pandora.com, where I get to choose my music.

288. Knowing that, even though the furnace doesn't work right now, I am still ok, and we are not going to freeze...what a great thing to be thankful for. Not everyone has this assurance. Some people are very cold right now and have nowhere to go.

Dirty Snow

The snow is old and dirty. We need a new layer to freshen things up.  Old snow gets black around the edges where the dirt from the road gets kicked up onto it. It looks like the end of winter when snows come less often and winter looks bleak and worn out. It's misleading. This is January. Mid-winter. This is the month when blizzards come and rescue us from the world and its schedules. It's the time for firesides and cocoa and family, hot soup and coziness. It's not time for dirty snow melting into mud and making us wish for warmth. Not yet.

I want some fresh snow. Winter needs a good cleaning.

Pictures of Our Land

It's springtime, I know it.

But here are some pictures of our land in other seasons. I love it here... and you can see why!

10.16.08
As the autumn sun settles down in the west, sometimes its last bright rays catch the tops of the trees to the east of us and make them glow! Breathtaking!

10.16.08

10.18.08 (8:31 am)
When the nights are quite cool, as they often are in October, and the morning rises bright with the promise of a warmer day, then a mist rises from the pond on the golf course.
It looks like magic!

1.19.09
In the winter, I live on the front of a Christmas card.

1.19.09
(8:41 am... remember that really, really cold day here? This is what I woke up to!)

1.19.09

1.19.09

1.8.09
This is the creek down at the corner, rippling quietly under its blankets.


1.8.09
And this is the aptly named natural beauty road.

.......
...

Of course, now it is spring, and the natural beauty road sings with the sound of birds and creeks waking.





It wears greens instead of white, and this,

~this right now~

is my favorite time of the year.



Spring is exploding into life!

How can I not be thankful?



(ps. Please remember that these pictures are ones I have taken and therefore are my property. Please do not use them without my permission. Thanks for understanding. I promise not to take your stuff, too, ok?)

Spring comes

The Wooing

- a Poem of Seasons -

Winter woos us with exquisite beauty:
Lavender landscapes that glitter under the moonlight;
iridescent days when the air shimmers with shards of shattered sunlight thrown through the air by invisible snowflakes;

Blizzard days that cancel everything, leaving us to sit by the fireplace with warm cups of cocoa;

And powerful ice storms the leave the world covered in crystal-plated resplendence...

But then -

Spring comes dancing in and wins our hearts with her warmth and laughter.
She delights us with her sensuous charms:
Sunlight to gladden our souls;
Warmth to thaw the frozen earth, and the ground softens beneath our feet;
The sweet, lusty scent of a thousand newborn flowers;
The exquisite cacophony of morning birdsong;
And tender warm breezes to caress our skin.

We are renewed. And we fall in love with Spring.

~ (c) klm 2.03.04 ~

~~~~~~~
~~~

Winter has been long, and it has sort of worn us out. I felt in February as if I had aged ten years. But winter has also been good: Holidays and Ice Skating,

Good family times, beautiful snow in abundance,

snow days, sparkling days,
and beauty more than we can take in!

Still we are ready for spring. Oh, we are so ready!

Welcome, Spring!! We are so glad to see you!

And sure, there will be a few throwbacks with cold days, maybe a little snow... but it is all a bluff at this point, and I will not take any of that seriously, because Spring is here!! Today was the equinox and who would argue with that?

At our house the equinox has also been known as "stand an egg on its end day". In the past we have had the floors and counters scattered with raw eggs all standing on end, just to prove that we could. I can only say it takes a huge amount of patience and perseverance, and my sons have a lot more of that than I do.

Regardless, it is spring.

Happy Equinox, everybody!

Happy Springtime!!

Joy!



(pics: 1) blue pic, out across our back yard. I played with the picture to make it look more like a real evening lookd in the winter out here; 2) diligent son doing schoolwork by the fire... could there be a better place to study? 3) very cold morning with frost coating every single twig in whiteness; 4) Daffies pushing up, you've seen this image before; 5) Two of the sweetest girls in my life - daughter teaching grandgirl about ants on the sidewalk; 6) Oh, yeah - fantastic, happy January day ice skating with my three daughters! 7) Lots of snow out my back door; 8) More beauty than I can describe, across my back yard into the rising sun; 9) No snow out my back door! Yay! )

Little signs...

Ok, everybody, just some quick news:

I heard the mourning doves two days ago!! They were cooing their soft, mellow love songs, and was I ever glad to hear them!!

I saw a woolly bear caterpillar this morning! But wait, don't they show up just before winter sets in?? Who's confused, me or the little fuzzy guy?? He was cute anyway, caterpillars just are.

The daffodils are inching upwards:

Remember how they looked before?

So -- that's progress, right??

Also, we heard and saw geese flying in formation last week, heading back north. (-: Geese honking is a unique sound. This time it was an announcement of spring soon to come, and we were glad.

A few days ago we had warmth up to 60 degrees! And on those days, the birds were beginning their incredible spring songs. Not at full volume yet, but they were getting warmed up for the big concert!

And... the snow is gone! The sheep can get to the grass now! It is last season's old brown grass, not very pretty to look at yet, probably not very nutritious for them, but at least we can see it!

We're getting there.

On the other hand, the buds are not yet swelling on the maples:

Nope, nothing yet. But we know the sap is running, and we can be patient a little longer.