the next great adventure

Psalm 144:1, 2

"Praise be to the Lord for my rock, who trains my hands for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield in whom I take refuge, who subdues people under me."

Life turns and I wonder what's next. I'm studying new things and meeting new people, taking on new projects. The responsibilities I have owned for years are still with me, and I don't want to neglect them, but something new is coming.

I look at these verses in Psalm 144 and wonder what battles I have ahead, what changes will I help to make in the world? How can I be helpful? How will God use my strengths? How can I help change the world?

He is training my hands even now for something important. I sense it. It's exciting.

I am grown-up enough to know that taking on new things will not always be exciting, though, or fun or easy. There will be days of discouragement as well as days of exhilarating victory. But He is my shield in whom I take refuge. On those unhappy days, you will find me taking refuge in Him, the one who loves me unconditionally, even when I mess up in stupid, messy ways. I will be going to Him for comfort because He is the God of all comfort, and for instruction, so I can clean up the mess and do better next time.

A song says, "Sometimes I feel like I can do anything. Other times I feel like I have nothing good to bring." I so get that. I have had days lately when I felt next best thing to invincible. I feel my strength, and it feels powerful! It feels fantastic! I feel like I am part of something great, something amazing, and I matter, and I can do whatever life brings, whatever God assigns to me.

But other days I feel small. Tired. And I wonder what I was thinking.

That's ok. I can have small days. Over all, I believe God, the Lord my Rock, is training my hands for battles... against untruth, against lies and falsehood, against ideas that do not belong.

I am going to make a difference. Not because I am all that, really, but because God is all that, and he is training me, strengthening me, and assigning me to an important task. If I ever believe it is all about me, I will crash land flat on my face. But as long as i am a servant of the Most High God, maintaining the humility that comes with service and the confidence that comes with not being self-focused, as long as I depend on Him to strengthen me and don't claim that the strength is all mine, then I believe I will be part of something amazing.

I don't know how it is all going to look. It will be scary sometimes, no doubt, and satisfying, and I will be serving others and facing giants of some kind. Sometimes I will be exhausted, and fed up. It But I am saying, "Yes".

Yes!

Yes to the next great adventure. Let's do this.

roots of she: Video : How to be Alone

beautiful. truth is in here, and it flows with a gentle rhythm of words that sway and step smoothly most of the time, and with little staccato hops now and then to make it interesting. it is good. thank you, tanya.

go see the video and listen for yourself.

midwifery gathering

We sit in Janice's house, with the snow falling past the window.

Janice is the teacher. She tells stories. Birth stories.

Dressed in soft purple knits, with snow falling thick and gentle behind her, she tells of the small woman giving birth, how Janice went early and traveled through a different snowstorm to get there, about the dad and how he helped his partner, the remedies used, and the wonderful outcome, how she got her warrior woman on and gave birth with power. Great stories.

We talk about remedies and what they do, and we drink tea.

We learn about herbs and birth, and what is normal. We laugh and talk and we laud the strength of birthing women and the partners who love them well.

These gatherings feed my soul. I learn and am nourished. I love these sisters on the path. We are learning together and we will be midwives ourselves someday. Like Janice. Warrior women, serving warrior women.

another one bites the dust

We have three drivers, and three vehicles that run, for the most part: a minivan, a Jimmy, and a Buick .
With people going different directions at the same time, we need at least two. The third is a leftover that we keep around for backup.
~::~

So, husband took the car in to have it checked today. The brakes were making a noise. "By the way," I asked him, "Could you have them check that leak while you're at it?"

It's been going through coolant fast. We have to add more about every third time we drive it.

He just got the call from the car place with the "estimate."

"The Buick is toast."

Well, that's just dandy. The van is basically a dead van walking, hanging on with a bad tranny and wheel bearing til we can find a cheap replacement. And now the Buick is toast?

Dandy.

The Buick is the one into which we poured money, to keep it running for a while longer. It's the one with the best body and little rust.

It's the one that's toast.

If we had decided to fix its brakes today, it would have been a thousand just for those. Probably not a good investment for an older vehicle. But the leak in the coolant system in an even bigger issue. This leak goes two ways. There's an outside leak, but the bad news is the inner leak that mixes coolant with oil so neither can do its job.

They told us not to drive it all. Yeah, right. We drove it over there and it's one of two cars we have been depending on.

The van is not safe. We use it only when we seem to have no choice. The Jimmy runs and works well enough. It has four wheel drive, a great thing for the snow. And then there's the Buick, which we shall no longer discuss.

I wish cars were cheaper.

I love that Jimmy more than ever.

trip out west

So I went out west.

Out where the mountains are rocky and covered with snow...



...and provide many opportunities to marvel at their amazing beauty.
(I took this picture from the road somewhere between Denver and Cheyenne, when we had stopped for gas.)

Out West where there are buffaloes and bluffs, and brown landscapes surround.

... and the SUNSETS!! Oh, my goodness, the sunsets!

Yeah, this is what they see from their front door after supper! I don't know what it is about the west that makes such skyscapes, but they are always something special!

I went there to help out this girl:

My daughter, and her husband, who were having their first baby.

In fact, she is in early labor in this picture. Relaxing at home.
Using my laptop to catch up on Facebook.

I helped them put up their first Christmas Tree!




That was fun.

I cooked a few meals, and I loaded their dishwasher a few times.

And I got to help with this:

(She did most of the work, I just cheered her on to victory.)

They even let me hold her!
(I have a thing about not holding other people's new babies too much until the mama and daddy get to. I think it's important to respect that bonding time and let the new family get to know each other first. But they were willing to share, and after that first day or two, I was fine with getting to cuddle my new grandgirl!)


Yeah, I was very fine with it!


I think they are doing great. I'm glad I got to be there with them for a little bit.

Christmas: Round 2

Did you all have a good Christmas?

Tell me about it... I want to hear about your holidays. Just leave comments so I can read and enjoy them, ok? Whatever you want to share.

Thanks.

So tomorrow the fam is coming over. Since I was gone out west right up until Christmas eve at midnight, and since the younger families want to have their own celebrations in their own homes with their children, starting their own family traditions, and that is a good thing... since all this, we decided to have our family celebration on a different day. We are getting together New Year's Eve for our gifts and celebration.

Christmas Day felt a little different because of this. It was good, but different. Smaller. Daughter who lives at the other end of town came over and we opened gifts, had breakfast casserole, and relaxed around the house as we always have on Christmas Day. But there were only 5 of us.

It wasn't as noisy as usual. Not as full of... something. The commotion of happy people who love each other's company. I missed it. So did the younger ones. We had a good day, don't get me wrong. It was good to relax and the gifts were really nice this year, and it was good to be together. There was just a subtle difference made of having fewer people here and knowing they were somewhere else. I'm so glad daughter came for the day.

Life moves on.

So they each had good days in their own homes, and we are all getting together tomorrow night here, to pick up the celebrating where we left off, the few of us, on Christmas day. It will be good. There will be a crowd. Like 15 of us. And THEN it will feel like Christmas! There will be noise and laughter and gifts to open. There will be small people running around! There will be food and fun and someone will probably be grumpy at some point but it is all part of life and it's all good. I love it!

I hope you have a good Holiday tomorrow as well, and that your New Year starts off well.

The Christmas List

I said there would be a list of my Joys and Thank Yous for Christmas. And here it is:

488. Christmas tree, shining in the living room. So pretty, so festive. It just glows.

489. Christmas lights twinkling in my house. I love the twinkly kind!

490. Christmas lights all over the countryside, sharing the Holiday Spirit with everyone!

491. Ornaments, reflecting the lights on the branches, telling their stories

492. Decorating the tree together with family, every ornament reminding us of something, some story past, and the sharing that happens right in that moment. Our family history shared and enjoyed.

493. The incredible fact that Christ, having lived forever in heaven, would be willing to come down, take on mortality, and live among us, in order to correct a wrong that we ourselves had done. Even though He knew it would be deeply painful and lead to His death. It's hard to understand such love.

494. Celebrating His birthday with the whole world.

495. Also celebrating family and friends and togetherness.

496. Finding gifts for people I love.

497. Getting good gifts. Did you think I would leave that out?? I am not that virtuous, people!

498. A new baby in the family.

499. The honor of attending the birth of that baby.

500. Sweet memories of being pregnant at Christmastime, kind of identifying with Mary and thinking how glad I was not to be on a donkey at nine months.

501. Nursing a baby by the light of the Christmas tree, in the middle of the night while all the house was silent. The lights from the tree cast a warm light on the baby's contented little face. All is Calm, All is Bright. It's a perfect moment of Peace and Love. This is one of my favorite Christmas memories of all.

Merry Christmas to all of you, dear friends.
Tonight I will be flying home for Christmas. As much as I am glad to have been here in Wyoming to attend daughter's first birth and to be some help, I am really excited to be heading home just in time for Christmas tomorrow.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." (John 14.27 NLT)

That's God's gift to you, if you take it. If you want more information, check out the Book, the Bible. It's all in there. Otherwise, just ask.

Happy Christmas Eve, friends, Merry Christmas too, and may your homes be filled with His peace and His love. May you each grow to know Him more and more as a good friend, One who loves us beyond anything we can understand.