Thanksgiving Day

10:00 am - Right now, Father, in the fullness of mid-morning, I thank you for this moment. The turkey is in the oven. Thank you for the anticipation of feast and looking forward to family members piling in the door, full of love and happiness. Right now, I take a moment to pause, praise, and give thanks. I take a moment to breathe. Inhale, exhale... and savor peace in the midst of busy preparations. Thank you, Lord. (And please be with my friend, please work out for her the details of her day after the flood at her house. Please bring her some peace, too.)

11:30 am - Pausing for another breath. and a snack. How is it that while fixing so much food, I can forget to eat!? Half the family is still in bed, sick. One 12 year old daughter and I are getting things done. Got the potatoes cooked, ready to reheat and mash when people come in the door. The house is getting some last minute straightening. Thank you, Father, for help for the flood at my friend's house. I hope she has a good holiday after all. Now, I have to start the bread. An hour to rise, another hour to bake... should come out about right. I love holidays like this. Thank you, God for holidays! Please be with those today who have not enough. May they see the bits of beauty in their own lives, in spite of everything, and may someone help to meet their needs today, please, Father. And Lord, if there is someone who you want me to help out, please show me who that is today. Thank you, Lord. I gotta go start that bread.

1:15 pm - I can't believe how nice the house looks! Even shorthanded, even with all the breaks we've taken, the rooms are all picked up and the food is getting ready. It is time to put the bread in the oven. The tablecloth is being ironed on the table; the house smells wonderful, and people are soon going to be here! I pause right now to slow my mind a minute, and savor it all. Breathe, self, breathe.

7:30 pm - The last people leave. What a great day! Everyone got here around 2 pm, and we ate about 3. Everyone helped. There was way more food than we needed. It was a feast, after all! Family together, laughing, talking, eating, cleaning up. Babies everywhere!

I missed having the bigger girls here, but they are at a friend's wedding this weekend. Oldest son is on a short vacation with his sweet wife. All's well. Everyone is having a good time wherever they are. But here - here at my house - we eat and everyone is full and happy. Tiny cousinlets play together, people make music, we laugh and talk, babies get hugged, toys get strewn. It's a happy time. By the time the last one leaves, the little one is way past time to sleep, but she will fall asleep very soon, and she has learned today a little more of what it means to feel loved and surrounded by family. It's been a good day.

Now... everyone has gone, and I have the whole house to myself. The dishes will wait for another day. I can just relax in the quietness.

Nice.

So much to be thankful for.

222. I am thankful they are taking a plane rather than negotiating the roads at this unpredictable, blizzards-come-up-out-of-nowhere time of year.

223. I am thankful that God goes wherever they do, and that He lives in Colorado, too.

224. I am thankful that they will have the joy of attending a friend's wedding.

225. I am thankful that other offspring will be here for Thanksgiving Day.

226. I am thankful that somehow, everything will get done that really needs to get done here.

227. I am thankful that whatever does not get done really won't matter anyway.

228. I am thankful for friends who understand.

229. I am thankful that Husband and I are on the same page.

230. I am thankful for prayers.

231. I am thankful that she might come back soon after all. Maybe.

232. I am thankful that the whole bunch of us get to travel to Chicago on Tuesday, to see them off.

233. I am thankful for beauty wherever it is found.

234. I am thankful for other peoples' lists of thankfulnesses, because they jump start my own.

235. I am thankful for color. That the whole world is not made in black, white and grey.

236. I am thankful for sequins.

237. I am thankful for the giggling of ticklish toddlers.

238. I am thankful for baby laughs.

239. I am thankful for parents who are teaching their own children about right and wrong, and that it is better to do right.

240. I am thankful that I am able to be thankful. (no matter what)

Giving Thanks and Dancing in the Kitchen

Here comes another week, ready or not. I am tired and would wish for a little bit more weekend... one more day of rest. But here we go, the new week coming in on a new day. I wake wondering how things will go today, wondering where the energy will come from. I have studying to do, assignments to finish for a class I'm taking, laundry and dishes stacked too high and waiting for attention. The house needs me to get busy, and the children need my help with their schoolwork. Before I even get out of bed, before my eyes even open, I know I need help. Still lying between warm, wrinkled sheets I pray, "Lord, please help me this day to do what You want me to do. Help me, please, to glorify You in all I do." It always surprises me how a prayer submitted to His will turns as the words form in my mind, change from being about what I wanted to being about what He desires. There is nothing I want more than to please Him, after all.

So I get out of bed by faith, trusting that He will direct my day, my strength, and that He will help me accomplish what He wants. I start on the huge kitchen mess alone, with some music to accompany me. The music makes me want to dance, just for fun, and it feels good. When was the last time I danced and felt this joy? When I take a break for Facebook, I find a dear daughter's list of thanks-giving. This is vital, I know, this giving of thanks regardless of how I am feeling. Facts matter more than feelings, and the fact is that I am blessed - we all are blessed - with more gifts than we will ever know.

And today, I am thankful for:

209. Hot water for washing those dishes and laundry.

210. A helpful family.

211. A new day.

212. A God who knows how it is.

213. Furnaces! to keep the house warm and cozy when it is cold outside.

214. Warmer than average days for this time of year.

215. Sunshine! Not typical for November.

216. The fact that I am loved by God whether I feel lovable or not.

217. The fact that He can use me whether I feel usable or not.

218. Comfy clothes to work in.

219. The class I am taking, even though it is hard work sometimes.

220. Music for dancing in the kitchen.

221. The thankfulness lists of others, which remind me to give thanks.

When I choose to give thanks, my perspective invariably changes. Dancing in the kitchen helps, too! Joy grows and displaces the negativity that was settled in.

It could be that hormones, lack of sunshine, stress or other things beyond my immediate control contribute to a gloomy outlook, an anticipation of failure... but dancing in the kitchen to the praise music on the radio, and putting my mind on giving thanks... those things lift my perspective and energize my soul for the day.

May your day, too, be filled with thanks and joy!

Go dance!

October?!

They tell me it's October. Wait. Really? What happened to summer?

Sure enough - I practically missed September, and now the leaves are turning beautiful colors, and I am still trying to let go of August!! Ha! It's time to catch up to reality!

So - summer was cooler than average and everyone here feels we got shortchanged in that department, but we are all willing to let bygones be and move on. Sure we are. The colors here are turning gorgeous shades of autumn - I still have trouble saying that word - and we seem to have raced right past sweater weather straight into, "Put your coat on, girl, you're gonna catch your death!!" Or it feels like it. NO, I don't see my breath on the air yet, but all the tomato plants have frozen.

I brought in close to 40 green ones the night of the freeze. Some had already gotten nipped but I still have 20 something on the counter, waiting to see if they ripen or if I fry them up still green. Yum, fried green tomatoes. Rare treat that I eat while the fam looks on, mostly.

So - September brought changes. Yes, the cold. But also we might have a buyer for the land. If everything works out, our beautiful land - 12 acres of it - may have a new owner by the end of the month.

And I have started a new study in a field that has interested me for years. I'll let you know how that goes. So far, I've completed the first module, and am looking at the second one feeling a little intimidated.

I am also trying out contact lenses Well, one. Yes, really. Because I don't need correction for up close, only for far, so I get one contact lens to use in one eye, to see far. I don't know if I am going to be able to adjust to that. We are still in the trial period. My brain has to figure out how to interpret the signals coming from two different eyes seeing differently. It needs to figure out that for close things, pay attention to the right, but for far things, pay attention to the left. Weird, huh? We'll see how it goes.

PS - Highs in the 40s today. See what I mean? Cold.

three little gifts

184. The sound of scissors through thick wrapping paper, almost growling, making a straight line in preparation for gifting

185. Apple orchards heavy with sweet ripeness

186. Peaches for supper

Twizzlers

He sits on the bed beside me, with rainbow-colored candy. I thought I would take a nap, but here he is, coming to sit by me while he eats the candy I bought for him while I was out this morning, to let him know I love him.

We talk about Twizzlers.

How I like the black, he likes the red.

And how these rainbow-colored ones are softer than those.

We laugh together about my hormonal outburst this morning, the one where I rivaled Niagra...the one that led me to buy him candy to make up for it.

No one talks about life or death. Or bills, or money. Or real estate. Or what-are-we-gonna-do.

It doesn't matter.

We have now. We have: half-a-nap, some rainbow-colored Twizzlers, and us.

We have us.

Perfect.

Sometimes love fits so comfortably, so easily, that you hardly notice it's there.

Joie de vivre?

My "Joie" is getting lost and tangled in my"de Vivre"...

Yesterday life began to catch up to me, and I was all set, counting my griefs, to have a bad day. I really was! Woke up feeling kind of down to begin, and then I remembered that I had lost my good camera. Stolen, along with my purse, on Monday. I really liked that camera. It helps me capture the little beauty-moments that I find everywhere, helps me not to overlook them. It was a gift from Husband.

So - no camera. No purse. All the little trinkets that I don't need but always have with me "just in case"... gone. (Except the cards. Thankfully, the cards were returned right away.)

And then I realized I would have to adjust my errand running this day, since we are down to one car. Dead Buick. Now there's an inconvenient truth.

Awe, man... no purse, camera gone, dead Buick...

And the lawn mower died, too. The grass is getting mighty long while we try to find something used and usable.

The dryer doesn't work either. yeah...

And then my sweet daughter lost her job that morning!!

So I was beginning to think I had plenty of reason to wallow in frustration and sadness. Then I heard someone else's story. Someone with real problems. And I was a little embarrassed.

I started remembering that is is much better to think on things that are "good, true, beautiful, worthy of praise..."

I remembered it really is better to see the beauty all around and be thankful, and how could I do that when I was so focused on the junk? So I decided to change. I decided to give myself a chance to list all the troubles one last time, grieve for a few minutes, acknowledge the sadness, and then start thinking thankfulness and other good things.

But I was in a slump. It was hard work to think positively. I was surprised what a job it could be to change my thinking. I knew I could use a boost: I went to the coffee house and got an iced chai AND a chocolate no-bake cookie. (This was a serious, 2-treat slump!) That helped me start feeling better and gave me some energy.

And then I thought, "I will begin my litany of thanks on the very things that I am having so much trouble with today, the things that are making me unhappy! There must be things right there that I can choose to be thankful for if I try." And I did. And I surprised myself! Watch this...

The Buick is dead: I am thankful that only one car is dead. I'm thankful that we have another car that works and is reliable, that husband works third shift right now, making our schedule fairly well-suited to using one car, at least for awhile. I am thankful that there are very low cost cars out there and that we can keep an eye out for one, but not feel a need to hurry into a purchase that might endanger our financial situation. (184 - 187)

The dryer doesn't work: I am so glad this happened in the summer. I love being out in the sunshine! I am glad that it didn't completely die but only (I think) needs maybe a heating element. I am thankful for that dryer in the first place, because it was a gift from a friend who no longer needed it!! I am thankful that there are other free or nearly free dryers out there once in awhile if we need to get another one. I am thankful for friends who share. (189 - 194)

The car was broken into: I am thankful no damage was done to the car. I am thankful (grudgingly, but still...) for the lesson to LOCK the car when you leave it, for crying out loud, and DON'T leave valuables in it unlocked and wide open when you do not know the neighborhood!! (195 - 196)

Stolen purse: I am thankful that all the credit cards, etc. were returned so quickly, never having been used. One person stole the things. Two people returned my cards, which were in two separate cases. I love knowing that there are a lot of good, decent people out there. In this case, by a ration of two to one over the not so decent! I am thankful that not much cash was taken. I am thankful that I was already considering replacing that purse when it was taken, as it was old and about ready to go. I am thankful for friends who helped me contact the police, search the bushes, and stay calm. I m thankful for the friend who prayed with me and taught me how to pray for those we might call our"enemies." It was beautiful, how she prayed for that person's needs to be met. We can be angry at wrong, yet still care about the one doing the wrong! (I am thankful that now I have a really good excuse for buying a new purse!!) (197 - 204)

Camera: I am sad about this. I am thankful that there were no really rare, precious pictures on that memory card when I lost it. I am thankful that I was about to replace that old memory card but hadn't bought a new one yet before it was stolen. (205 - 206)

Sweet daughter's job: I am sorry she lost her job, but thankful for this evidence that God is working uniquely in her life. I am so sad that she wants to move to a far away state where her friends are. She would be too far away for us to even visit, I'm afraid. I could never go out for coffee or shopping with her, or to the beach. I want the best for her, of course, but I would miss her terribly. Watching her ask questions and respond thoughtfully to our questions is encouraging. I am thankful for this. And seeing this unexpected drastic event in her life suggests to me that God has His own way of working in her life. I am sure he will do better than I could. (207 - 208)

It was hard at first to think of things to be thankful for in the middle of these crummy situations. But I'm glad I did because 1) it is the right thing to do. And 2) It did help me feel better and gain a better perspective.