Sharing Ann's post

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2015/07/when-you-feel-a-bit-like-the-worlds-ablaze-with-hard-things-the-emmaus-option/

Sharing Ann's post tonight.

"... maybe there is no need to show anyone who is right... Only a need to show our... tender and bruised underbelly... how we've beem burned and scorched and seared -- and how Jesus humbly came and showed us His scars and we touched our wounds to His -- and in that holy moment of scars touching sars -- w knew and felt and were healed by the Truth," - Ann Voskamp

Because sometimes it is less important to know who is right and true and it only matters to know the God who is True.

Maybe we need more real and less let me tell you, more love and less watch this.  Maybe sometimes we just need to be there and listen, and let Jesus do the loving right through us.  Maybe the way to do that, after we have trusted in Him, is to just soak in the love he shares with us, until we are so saturated with His love that it just starts leaking out of us and landing on others, healing them in all their broken and bruised places jut like we have felt it do for us.  Maybe it's not really any harder or more complicated than that... draw close to the Father, and He will draw close to you. Love God first with everything you've got, and love the person in front of you with the love that comes from Him and pours right through you.

Love heals.  Let's be healers.

Peaceful day

On this spring day, with gentle rains calming and quieting the whole outdoors, with leaves slowly unfurling in light yellow-green bundles at the ends of the branches, I find myself stilling too, and remembering the ongoing value of gratitude --  how it can set the mind and soul free from gloom, and send a ray of light into the deepest part of my spirit.

So I am thankful for: 

560.  texting the far away and dearly loved

561.  soft days when only a hint of sun filters through freshening rain

562.  that green that only comes in the early spring, promising the very best of times just ahead

563.  enthusiastic flowers shouting the new season in

564.  random notes of birdsong drifting in through windows

565.  moods - soft and mellow or wild and crazy - adding dynamics to life like the marks on a sheet of music.

    ...And while it's Cinco de Mayo somewhere, and partygoers revel with loud music and laughter and good food... right here it's time for rest. Later today a friend's dog is coming to visit for a week or so while they travel. Earlier today, one pet snake was discovered scooting sideways across the kitchen floor before it was recovered and replaced in its cozy home. Life is full. Life is good. 

Crisp morning at the market

What number was I on in the Joys and Thank yous list? I don't remember, but here are more anyway. Life is so filled with details worth delighting in, and every one of them is a gift from the Creator, the Father of Lights who never changes. It's great to stop and be grateful once in a while.


     554.  - Crisp air at the farmer's market this morning,

     555.  - eating a fresh, hot quiche (gluten free!) while leaning against an empty vendor's stall,

     556.  - and sharing the morning with a friend.

     557.  - Buying a ball of roving in hopes of spinning it into yarn,

     558.  - a bouquet of flowers to beautify the dining room,

     559.  - and some Osage oranges to set on the kitchen counter.

I feel so autumnal!

autumn follows summer

Summer was crazy.  Seriously. 

We rarely travel.  But...

May: trip to Miami for Son's graduation with a degree

June: Gone for a week to convention with husband

July: family reunion on the Fourth

August:  
     1) Daughter went on her first mission trip, a big deal!  -- 
     2) trip to Wyoming to take a son to school for his first year -- 
                                         and when we got back home, 
     3) we went camping for a week and a half at the beach! Just what I needed!! Great time! Perfect birthday gift!

September, I was expecting to settle into a routine, but was feeling overwhelmed. The house needed a lot of catch up from being gone most of August.  Then the well pump went out and needed to be replaced.  Dishes and laundry piled up even more.

One of the Out West daughters got sick. We kept in close touch by phone and facebook, until she finally decided she needed to come home and see a doc who really knew her. It's been good. She is mending. Her plane back home leaves this weekend, and I'm a little anxious that she will be ok once she is back at her own place, looking after her own needs. It's a lot easier when you have nothing to do but sleep and eat what is made for you. 

The furnace went out the day she came home.  Of course it did.  Because life piles up sometimes. between the new well pump and the new furnace, we are going to have to reconfigure some finances. Not sure how that will all work, but such is life, right?!

Also, a dear cousin died very suddenly in an accident on the highway.  It was a real shock, and I was so deeply sad for a while. I will miss him, that's for sure! I am so glad for the rest of the cousins, who have all come together for each other is a wonderful way. 

So -- life piles up. I have been swamped in a pile of life! 

but in it all, I have been thankful for these gifts:

546.  time at the beach to be still after a lot of going

547.  a school for my son that seems a good fit for him

548.  seeing my offspring content in the lives they have chosen

549.  birthday cake made just for me by someone who loves me!

550.  family

551.  cousin care by phone

552.  being able to laugh at the pile that overwhelms. not always, but when i step back and look, how can I not?  

553.  truly amazing autumn colors, deeper and more vibrant than other years.  such incredible beauty!!


So, as the leaves blaze, and the air gets crisp, and daughter goes back to her own place, I will still expect, at some point, to find that routine that keeps being postponed.  We shall see. Life is for living, and if things come up, I will respond in whatever way seems best.  Maybe  having a routine is nothing more than a pipe dream for me. Life is rich and can't be put into tidy boxes.  Not this life, anyway!  Still, even if it's only a dream, I'll enjoy dreaming of the day when I have it all together.  :-)

Husband's birthday

Well, today is Husband's birthday, and I didn't know what to get him.  He probably already has all the things he really wants. Besides, I was not feeling real well this past week and didn't have energy for shopping.

But I had a thought. I suggested we all go out to lunch a RedRobin today after church. He loved it! We invited the in town family, and there were 11 of us. half of them were under 5, which of course makes everything more fun. His mom came too, and that was a fun surprise for him.

I think going out to lunch at Red Robin with his kids and grand littles was the best birthday he could have wished for. Yay for fun family times!!

 

So, Thursday was commencement, and Our son, after seven years of hard work and tremendous support from his beautiful wife, finally received his doctorate in Biology!! So proud of him I could burst! Friday was an awards and recognition ceremony. Besides that, we have gone on an airboat ride at Mr. Buffalo Tiger's place, gone on a sunset boat ride in the Keys, eaten at some fantastic local restaurants, tried new foods, visited the Everglades, gone to Robert Is Here Fruit Stand, met and talked with people from he Miccosukee tribe of Native people here, seen lots of interesting plants and animals, driven to Key Largo, soaked up a lot of fantastic sunshine, and pretty much had a fantastic time! Five of our seven kids are here together. I so wish the others could be here with us, but it is great to have this many together. Family ♥. 

 

Having your own personal biologist as a tour guide is definitely a bonus! ;-) Someone just has to say, "Thaddeus, what's that?" And we get the whole story. We have learned about the mating habits of alligators, and how they do this amazing community "dance" on late winter evenings, ending when they go off in pairs. Sounds beautiful and elegant! We have learned how the introduction of Python into the Everglades has affected the wildlife... apparently because people thought they wanted them as pets then changed their mind and let them go into the wild.

This is the first vacation trip we have taken in years! I'm soaking in every single moment of it.  It's so fun to have one little grandgirl with us who I rarely see, since she lives with her parents across the country from our home.

Christmas Time!

I am really enjoying this Christmas season! I hope you are too. In other years, the holidays have worn me down to the point that it was hard to even feel the joy and peace. It was hard to be worshipful. It was hard to move through my days, even! I was exhausted!

I am not a person who can bake a variety of cookies, and pies, think of beautiful, inexpensive gifts for everyone I know, shop without dropping, send dozens of cards (on time), keep my home company-ready at all times, and plan a wonderful Christmas dinner. Frankly, I don't believe anyone does all that.

How many times over the years have I heard the question, "Do you have your Christmas shopping done yet?" And felt little nag of guilt or inferiority because no, I didn't have it done? In fact I wasn't sure when it was ever going to be done because there always seemed to be one more thing that I needed... or else I would find one more thing that would make the holiday even better, it seemed. And by the way - does shopping for Christmas dinner groceries count as Christmas shopping? What are the rules for this question, anyway?

Here's the thing. That whole concept of getting your shopping done? It's a fantasy! It never happens! In our society, with constant advertising, you will always think of one more thing to buy. Or six. If you were to actually get gifts for everyone, then there are always more people who you can shop for, more decorations to buy, more food, and on it goes.

No one can do everything. We have to make choices. One year I might make a nice dinner, and another year, I might send out a family newsletter. I don't hand make gifts. I buy them. I don't send out cards every year, only when I have the time and energy. Yesterday I addressed about 6 cards. Just 6. Not 50, or 60, or 100. Just six. They might get into the mailbox today. Maybe. We'll see. I just cannot allow the demands of the season to stress away the joy of it. I hope I love on people the rest of the year. If they don't get a card I hope they know I still care, I just can not cover everything that I would like to. This year it mattered to me to bake cookies, which I never do... It's been so much fun!!

I spent an afternoon baking with my daughter. We had good times. Then later, I decorated a few at a time. And we shared them. That was fun. It gave me a chance to get creative. So far, the holidays have been so much fun this year! And yes I am tired and some things are not gettiing done... but I am having a good time and not forgetting what the season is really about:

Worship. Family. Love. Joy. and Peace. (Remember peace?)

I wish you all of these things today. And the restful moments in which to savor them.

Pearl Harbor Day

Today we are remembering Pearl Harbor, the lives lost, the loved ones who grieved, and the sense of patriotism that attack engendered. The way people felt when Pearl Harbor was attacked must be a lot like I felt when the World Trade Centers came down. Shock, horror, fear, anger, confusion.

I have been thinking about the 1940s a lot lately. I wasn't there, but it seems like those times played a big role in who we have become today. The grief over men lost, the sense of loyalty to a cause, the big band sounds that kept up morale while women stayed home and worried for their men. All that fantastic music and the great dancing were a part of an overall picture that included war!

My parents would have been young adults then. Those times shaped them, and consequently, shaped us. I love to hear the stories and see the pictures from their lives then. I can't imagine the way life must have felt during that war. I wish I could go visit those times, and then come back here. I guess that's why I love old movies and stories from then.

The more I think about it, the more I'm convince that then or now, people are people. We have always had certain things in common. We shop to find the best price on groceries. We worry about bills. Young ones look for fun, find dates, and fall in love. We complain about the weather and politics. People start families and settle in to life. We want the best for our kids. We help them with schoolwork. So many things do not change. Our daily lives contain most of the same tasks, same concerns as ever. There are good neighbors and bad ones everywhere in every time. Friendship always nourishes. Bad things happen and our choices remain pretty much the same in how to respond.

I think maybe we can identify with the generations before us a lot better than we think we can, if we just stop and think about it. Maybe there is less difference than we imagined.

If you have a chance, find someone who lived through the forties and listen to them. Swap stories. Learn what is common to us all, and how individual differences play into the overall picture of life and history. Listen to the stories of their daily life, and write them down if you can... when these people are gone, we won't be able to hear first hand accounts any more. That will be a great loss. We need to savor it while we can. Their history is our history.

just thankful

I'm thankful for...

537. roads without curbs, grass growing right up to the pavement

538. horses gathered in a little paddock, having contented horse conversations

539. kids who love me

540. a brand new grand! tiny and pink.

541. Wednesday night suppers at church!

542. getting to know new friends

543. likemindedness

544. newborns

545. the awesome strength of women giving birth

November day

November is like this sometimes.

Cold, gray, and wet. The leaves are stuck to the ground in the rain, looking discouraged, as if they're too tired to run around, have no energy to fly with the wind.

Maybe it's a good thing that Thanksgiving comes in November. We need it about now. We need to find gratefulness on these days of darkness and soggy, tired leaves. Or we'll turn dark and cold ourselves.

On this day of dark and wet and cold, I am especially thankful for soft slipper-socks hot out of the the dryer, a very tall mug of hot rooibos tea, a big red sweater, and candles. Thankful for work to do in order to get warm and keep my mind off the sad-looking day, and friends that I will see tonight.

It's a great day for coziness and a slower pace.


(joys and thank yous #531 - 536)

Tortilla soup non-recipe

Suddenly I had to come up with a supper plan and I hadn't bought anything for tonight.

I improvised.

Tonight's supper, made from leftovers, went like this...

Tortilla soup:

Hey, I'll use up this cooked chicken and this homemade tomato soup from the other night. Add a small can of black olives that I happened to have, and 1 can of black beans, chop an onion into it, good spoonful of garlic, plenty of fresh cilantro which I happen to have on hand (just bought it -- I thought I was going to try drying it!)... warm and taste...add cumin, little jalapen-yo, black pepper, barest touch of cayenne and a shake or two of hot sauce. This is getting mighty yumful!

Let set to blend flavors and ole!

I will now serve it with cheese and sour cream which I happen to have on hand, and the family will be warmed and filled. I love when a plan comes together, even at the last minute!

So glad I was able to use up some leftovers and that I happened to have on hand so many of just the right things to fill in! Clearly I must be getting some heavenly help on the cooking tonight! (thanks Father!)

perfect fall morning

What a gorgeous morning! The sun glows in the mist as the dew rises, and the trees, colors deepened by the day's early shadows, look more lush than thy ought to be for this time of year.

The thing to do on a morning like this is stand in the open doorway with a cup of hot coffee, breathe it all in, and just be thankful.

Perfect!

~~joys and thank yous~~

528. sun shining on dew-mist, making it glow
529. October's leaves dressed in autumn's colors
530. moments for standing half in, half out, relishing the warmth and the cool,
the beauty and the comfort.

Sunday dinner

~

Hot, steaming gravy runs all over the mound of potatoes, over and around the tender chicken... And I'm thinking this is just the thing on this damp, cold day that scowls sharp with ragged clouds and can't decide whether to actually rain or just make threats.

Crock pots are a gift to cold people with not enough energy to make a meal after sitting in a chilly classroom half the morning. The hot food warms me from inside and feels like comfort. It's the perfect meal for before a nap. And a nap is just the thing for a cold Sunday afternoon.

( so today, right this minute, I am thankful for...)

521. crock pots making meals while I'm away
522. easy gravy = mushroom soup poured over the meat and thickened as needed later
523. Hot food when I'm cold, warming me up from the inside
524. Restful Sundays
525. worship time
526. family time
527. nap time

~

joys and thank yous

I haven't blogged much these last few months. real life required my attention, and there wasn't enough of me left over to write about it.

But now that I am here, I want to pick up on my list of joys and thank yous, my gratitude list, right where I left off.

504. freebies for my birthday, or any time

505. skype!

506. adorable grandgirls who light up when they see me, making me feel like a celebrity

507. being loved with an everlasting love, unconditionally, constantly, and lavishly

508. laughing with my kids

509. having kids who show respect and consideration for others

510. dancing to oldies - daughter's favorite choice in music

511. pedicure with custom painted designs on my toes!

512. turquoise

513. grape juice

514. frappuccinos, rarely, but yum.

515. jasmine green tea and dark chocolate

516. taking pride in the accomplishment of a grown daughter as she graduates

517. getting to know my kids' strengths and talents as they develop

518. new recipes that turn out well

519. metro cruise, and being there with my kids

520. Vitamin D supplements - they really make the shorter, darker days so much easier

embracing this wildness

Today, Daughter has a broken tooth that must be remedied immediately. She's in considerable pain. She has hardly eaten or drunk anything in 36 hours (except for a smoothie last night), has a headache, and is very hungry and thirsty. On top of this, she woke up this morning with allergies bothering her and giving her a sore throat! She must feel terrible! This is the girl with a huge national registry exam later this week and who is also moving 2000 miles away in two and a half weeks... so there is a lot going on for her. We need to get this tooth taken care of so she can do the next thing.

Life piles up sometimes... and I guess hers is.

We will get her to the dentist and it will be better. We will figure out a way to pay for it even though there is no insurance. She will do great on her exam even though she will worry herself to a frenzy, and she will get moved on time.

A friend posted today that we need the wild places, the untamed places, the unsolved mysteries. Even in the middle of Our Town, right downtown, there are places yet not cultivated, places where the trees and weeds grow and the poison ivy creeps bright red up the trunks. There is beauty in the untamed, the unexplored, the unknown.

Life is like that too. As much as I wish to get it all figured out, tame my schedule, and understand everything...weeds and tangles appear. Teeth break and pain shoots right through the place in life where I thought it was all cultivated and smooth. Schedules change and unknowns pop up. Maybe that's ok. Maybe it's ok to do what you can and then let the rest be. Maybe the unknowns and unexpecteds of life are the wild places that we need more than we know. Maybe I need to do what I can to make things right, and then just embrace the rest in all its messy glory. Maybe I need to be more thankful for the uncultivated places in life, the unknown and unplanned, the unsolved mysteries, the "don't knows".





(ps - if you want to read my friend's post about the value of he wild places, go here:
http://studiobeerhorst.squarespace.com/journal/2011/10/10/into-the-wild.html?lastPage=true#comment15279492)

Biggby ... breakfast in the car...sunny day, daughter with me... Great start to the day!

Retro Metro Cruise

Fun stuff!

Classic cars, cruising through the streets of town.

Showing their stuff in store parking lots.

(Isn't this gorgeous?! )

Oldies blasting, kids dancing.

Free food, and a fake Elvis.

Thanks to the generosity of one local business, we enjoyed free burgers,
hot dogs, chips, and root beer floats for supper!

A contest for the most authentic 50s style girls.

And Family.

(They are all watching the little ones.)

What a fun night!

working at sunshine

today did not start out very fun.

so i am working at it.

working at bringing some sparkle to the day, which would otherwise be hard and dry.

like a stale biscuit.

without jam.

step one -
starbucks. something very large, decadent and sweet, with a coupon to make it free. free always makes it even better. settled on a venti, haf caf, soy, java chip mocha frappuccino with a shot of peppermint, afagato. with whipped cream and syrup. i think i pretty much maxed out my freebie coupon with that concoction. it was the perfect thing for this particular morning.

step two -
focus on Truth, like, "there is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus..." And "I will never leave you or forsake you." To know that I am loved unconditionally sure drives away discouragement of any kind!! Truth wins, every time, hands down! No matter the circumstances, I can wallow in His love! It's secure and it's always available.

step three -
spend some quality phone time with offspring far away. I love my kids so much! I miss this one and his family so much it hurts! But a chat on the phone makes them feel closer.

step four -
crank up the oldies and dance in the kitchen. made the daughter smile (because she's too polite to full out laugh). tunes from the 60s can really cheer up a day, plus dancing gets the blood flowing and is pure good fun!


so... it's coming along. this day is getting better. we'll see how it ends up. big storms are coming through. maybe they'll cleanse the air.

I hope your day is a good one! if not, tell me what you plan to do about it, please. I can always use more ideas.

this moment

cicadas and the sound of a mourning dove...

iced tea and a book out on the porch...

this is what summer afternoons are made of.

(joys and thank yous #502 and #503)


(I'm going. Right now. I can't bear to miss this moment.)

What a great day!

The sky closed the day in a bright orangepink with royal blue around the edges. Fitting beauty for such a day as this.

It was a day filled with unusual joys. I savoured a slow, four hour breakfast out with a friend this morning, where we discussed ideas and ideologies and ate healthy, delicious food. It is a rare thing to enjoy an intellectual conversation with someone. It's rare for anyone to have four hours to spend on a meal and conversation. It was a real treat to mind, body and soul. Jen and I have radically different views on a lot of things, yet we can always discuss ideas without the conversation getting tense or heated. What a rare blessing! I'm glad to have friends like that. I disagree with her, but I respect her.

In the afternoon, another friend and I went and got pedicures. Tremendously fun! This is a friend with whom I can be totally honest and know she will hear me without judgement. She has a great sense of humor and we can laugh about things that would not be funny in other conversations. I think she is un-offendable. She knows sides of me noone else does -- things I myself did not even know were there before I spent time with her. She is another rare blessing in my life, a friend I trust with my truest, most real self. I know I grow as a person when I am hanging out with her.

Tonight, I went to a movie with my two kids. The ones who still live at home. We had a great time, and even got those fat juicy movie hot dogs for supper! We laughed together at the movie and enjoyed the time together. We have been extra busy the last couple weeks, each doing good, fun things, but not together. It was good to spend some fun time together tonight.

So the whole day has been one pleasure after another, with people who add significantly to my life. I am blessed.

And then a beautiful sunset.

Pretty nice!

I have a lot to be thankful for tonight.

This is perfect, for my birthday month!

(ps - I also got to dance with an adorable two year old today. Princess in pink, simply the sweetest thing! We danced in her living room, she with twirls and fluff, me just doing what I do. Such great fun!! I will add that delightful moment to my list of birthday celebrations so far this month!)